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Heart Faults, when we break.

In any relationship, manipulation is the highest form of betrayal. We will have to stop eating everything that is fed to us…even if its silver spoon fed. We grow watching, observing and living to our parents and family wishes. We trust them. Believe them without reservation. When we live our lives only by observation, and with their expectations without knowing their wounds, their whys our foundation will crack.

Respectability and accountability are requirements for the things we want in life, what we require from each other. Jesus’ mandate was to love one another as we love ourselves. His commandment sounds simple enough yet I believe it is one of the most difficult challenges in our faith walk. Loving self is a lifetime journey and it becomes more difficult to do when we break. The longevity of carrying pain, damaging pain that steals your joy and stills your heart is not loyalty. Do not lose Self in your love of someone. Our definition of love has to be redefined at times for every relationship is different. I hope that you create, prepare, equip and fall in love with your perspective of love….for love does not destroy you. Remember it. Keep your personal definition close to your heart. When the fires come, you will be able to fall back on a firm foundation no matter the cracks.

Dr. K E Garland has written, “The Unhappy Wife” a book that solidifies the undoing of each woman’s heart within matrimony. The book is a collection of short stories of 12 different women and their intimate soul reveals.  I love how the book is not about failing marriages yet more about individuality and how meshing, merging are important without losing Self.

Intimacy should be a bond that transforms and grows us individually and with our mate. It is inhumane, to not be touched, or reassured in your love. Intimacy is more than sex, more than means of procreating, its right smack in the middle of the whole scheme of things. As you read this book watch how their lives differentiate from their initial dreams, from their wants and how they live, survive within those differences.

My friendship with this author, reading her book leaves me indebted to her. She writes truths that the reader unveils whether we are single, coupled, or married. She understands the schematics of how we love, how we believe with God and that the one-billionth prayer will somehow magically fix the ones we love to love us back. As I shared with her, “We have to do better” for ourselves, our daughters, granddaughters for all who are connected to us. As well as for the honor of a unique want that becomes a spiritual yet legalized covenant.

One thing I did for myself many moons ago: I stopped labeling myself as divorced within conversations, on applications and within my definition of self-love.  That word, that status carries an overwhelming heavy weight. Drop it. Move forward. Love self so that you are able to love others, equally and with compassion. The Unhappy Wife by [Garland, KE]

You are able to purchase, “The Unhappy Wife” here: www.kegarland.com. It will be one of your best book purchases this year. I promise! KE Garland’s blog link: kwoted.wordpress.com/

Please post your feedback here, encourage KE Garland on her website and blog-site. I would love any commentary on this book, this post and your heart faults, please share. I teach a monthly workshop on Identity for Women of Faith and our sessions have been remarkable. So this read, this reflection has me ever so excited for our future. It all circles back.

Keep healing; it recipriocates and removes the fault lines.

Intimately worded,

A. Michelle

36 responses to “Heart Faults, when we break.”

    • I absolutely loved the book. It made me reflect on my past marriage to where I am now. It was their stories but there was a part of me in each one. It is for everyone truly.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. “..for love does not destroy you.”
    I love that statement. Growing up, I believe we become accustomed to the “mainstream” version of love that shows it being hard, full of pain, and then magically is perfect at the end. Although, love does come with a fight at times, it does not destroy you. Your words were such a beautiful reminder to not losing ones self for “love” but to also pause and reflect on what love truly means to us individually. Thank you! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks again for feeling so compelled to write this review Michelle! I know your heart broke over and over with each story, so I do appreciate this expression of how you read and interpreted each story.

    “I love how the book is not about failing marriages yet more about individuality and how meshing, merging are important without losing Self.” I tried to convey so much in this little book and I’m glad you got this part. I didn’t want to write a book that complained about marriages, but rather SHOWED how we feel as women and what choices we make as women that lead to (as you’ve so eloquently said) “the undoing of our own hearts.”

    Thanks again for this beautiful review my friend ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. As always, Michelle, I love how open you are and how you use your own life experiences to shed new light on established concepts.
    I agree, it is inhumane not to be touched and reassured. It is tantamount to rendering your spouse invisible. As you know, we all want, need and deserved to be ‘seen’–especially by the ones we love.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Reblogged this on K E Garland and commented:
    Another cool thing about releasing The Unhappy Wife is the love I’ve gotten from social workers and others in the mental health profession. This is a great example of that support. If you don’t already, check out Michelle’s blog. It’s full of personal stories that advocate for self-love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are the greatest! I love how love boomerangs. Again, the book is 12 distinct yet terrific revelations. As a Counseling graduate and looking to further my education in Women Studies, the book touched my core in so many ways. Keep shining, Doc.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awww thanks future MSW! We’re all connected girl, so I’m just as grateful, trust me. Women’s studies, huh? That’s going to be fascinating, especially because I’m not always sure we’re at the center of those conversations 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Woman, if you do not get my title right…we gone fight! Too much schooling and studying! LPC, LPC! Licensed Professional Counselor, I swonee. I have sweated, cried, torn my hair out and lost some brain cells; no slight to Social Workers but I am a Counselor, my gift, my title. LOL w/the mean mug look. Big smile. My volunteer work includes working with the teen population because they are such an underserved community, they have my heart. I furthered my studies in order to affect set policies and archaic regulations for us, our children, our men…for everyone and anyone I am able to assist in their journey.

        No ma’am, I agree we are not in the center of Women Studies. #mypassion Big hugs. Again, you have set a standard of self-care in your written work that reached me in so many ways. You have my support. If you need me for anything, you got me. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh. My bad. lol I understand getting those titles right though because I have fought for people to not call me Miss…for the past seven years lol

        Okay. Okay. LPC. I gotta go back and revise some thangs then I don’t know why I kept wanting to make you an MSW lol (at myself).

        Liked by 1 person

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