Intimately Worded with Michelle

Category: Family

  • SuperSoul Sunday: Where My Heart Learned to Heal

    I am sitting with the day.

    It has been a SuperSoul Sunday.

    Church was beautiful today. Worship was high, the kind of worship that doesn’t just sound good but reaches somewhere inside of you and reminds you: You’re still here. You’re still held. Keep going.

    And then there was the park.

    I have been going there since my children were babies. My youngest is 19 now, which means this place has been part of our family story for nearly two decades.

    But somewhere along the way, it became more than a park.

    It became one of the first places where my heart learned how to heal.

    I walked there. I ran there.

    There were seasons when I didn’t know what was next. I remember losing my job (corporate thug life) and going there to walk and run—to move my body when my mind didn’t know what to do with itself.

    I ate lunch there by myself, sitting at a picnic table. Sometimes solitude was not something I had chosen. Sometimes it was simply where I was.

    And somehow, Jesus met me there.

    Every time.

    Not necessarily with an answer.

    Not always with some grand revelation.

    Sometimes just enough peace to make it through the afternoon. Sometimes enough room to breathe. Sometimes enough quiet to hear myself again.

    That is what makes a place sacred to me.

    Not the building. Not the landscaping.

    Not whether anyone else would understand why it matters.

    It is what happened there. It is who I became there. It is where I encountered God there.

    Over the last ten years or so, the area has become increasingly crowded. Neighborhoods have grown. A school is nearby. There are more people, more activity, more life.

    And for a while, I stopped going.

    There was even a guy who kept talking to me every time I went. He wasn’t scary. Just irritating.

    Sometimes we leave places for reasons that aren’t nearly as profound as the reasons we once needed them. I found other sacred spaces.

    Places where I could breathe. Places where I could pray. Places where I could be alone with my thoughts and with God.

    But that park remained my first.

    Today, on a Sunday, I went back.

    Bru had invited one of his best friends to church. Autumn was off. It was great attending as a Family. The boys decided to walk the trails together.

    I chose not to walk with them.

    I took my own path around the park.

    And then I saw them.

    Three deer. 🦌🦌🦌

    Walking. Pausing. Looking at me.

    I stood there in complete awe.

    My camerawoman skills are not it. 🤦🏽‍♀️

    I have been coming to this place since my babies were babies, and I have never seen deer there.

    Not once. And today, there they were. Three.

    I don’t know if God sent the deer to give me a message. I don’t need to make them into something they may not be.

    But I know what it felt like to stand there.

    It felt like being reminded to pay attention.

    To notice. To stay present. To slow down enough to see what had always been possible but had somehow remained unseen.

    I thought to run, walk past or turn around. I heard, “wait.”

    Maybe that’s what healing does.

    It doesn’t always take us somewhere completely new. Sometimes it brings us back to an old place with new eyes.

    The same trees. The same trails. The same picnic tables. But a different woman walking through them.

    I have changed. A lot.

    The woman who once ran those trails after losing her job is not the woman standing there today.

    The mother pushing through the seasons of raising babies is not the woman watching her 19-year-old son walk trails with one of his best friends.

    The woman who needed that park to survive a season is now able to return simply to receive the beauty of it.

    That feels significant.

    And maybe this is what I am learning about sacred spaces:

    They don’t have to remain untouched to remain sacred. They can become crowded. We can leave them. We can find other places. Life can change around them.

    And still, when we return, something in us remembers.

    I think that’s true of people, too.

    There are places we once needed desperately that we no longer need in the same way. There are relationships that held us for a season but aren’t meant to hold us forever. There are versions of ourselves that did the best they could with what they knew.

    And there are places—physical and spiritual—that become part of the architecture of our healing.

    That park is one of mine.

    It is one of the first places my heart learned that being alone did not necessarily mean being abandoned. That movement could become prayer. That lunch at a picnic table could become communion.

    That tears could fall beneath a sky and somehow you could still leave lighter. That Jesus could meet me outside of a church building.

    Actually, maybe that’s one of the reasons I love sacred spaces so much.

    Because Jesus has never seemed particularly concerned about staying inside the places we expect Him to be.

    He meets me on trails. At picnic tables. In quiet mornings. In difficult seasons. In unexpected conversations. In our emptiness.

    And apparently…

    sometimes in the middle of a park with three deer staring at me. There was another little reminder today, too.

    I had been thinking about taking a break from the dating app. The fatigue was beginning to creep in—the endless conversations, the sorting, the wondering, the discernment.

    And then this morning, I matched with a man with a beautiful smile and really good conversation.

    And then came the complication.

    He is legally married, though separated for three years. They aren’t trying to reconcile. We both respected each other’s position, and we agreed not to continue.

    Could there have been something there?

    Perhaps.

    But I am learning that possibility is not the same thing as permission. Something can feel good and still not be for me. Something can have potential and still require a boundary. And something can end before it begins without being a failure.

    Maybe that’s another kind of healing.

    Being able to say, “I see the possibility. And I also see the boundary.”

    No bitterness. No drama. No chasing. Just discernment.

    At 5:28 PM, I am thinking about all of this.

    About the woman I was. About the woman I am.

    About the places that have held me.

    About the places I have outgrown.

    About the places I may return to.

    About the sacred spaces I haven’t found yet.

    And about the strange, beautiful truth that sometimes we don’t realize a place was helping us heal until years later.

    I thought I was just walking.

    I thought I was just getting some air.

    I thought I was just eating lunch alone.

    I thought I was just trying to survive losing a job.

    But maybe Jesus was teaching my heart something. Maybe He was showing me that solitude could be holy. That movement could be medicine for the soul. That I could sit alone and still be accompanied. That I could lose something and still find myself. That I could leave and return.

    That I could become someone new without abandoning the woman who came before me.

    And today, after all these years, I walked through that sacred space again.

    And three deer stopped to look at me.

    Maybe they were simply deer. Maybe that’s all they needed to be. But I stopped, too.

    And for a moment, we just looked at each other.

    And I smiled.

    Because sometimes healing isn’t a dramatic revelation. Sometimes healing is simply realizing:

    I am still here. God is still here. And there is still beauty I haven’t seen yet.

    SuperSoul Sunday: Lean into your miracles.

    Have courage,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Sacred Spaces

    Making Room for What’s Next

    Blackberries, Summer, Better.

    I didn’t do anything I planned to do today.

    There. I said it.

    I had plans. Things I wanted to accomplish. Things I thought I should get done before Sunday ended. Instead, I did some notes. I went to church. I took my daughter to the mall. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I took a Sunday nap. A good one.

    And when I woke up, I realized something: today was gentle.

    Nothing was wrong. Nothing was behind. Nothing needed to be rescued. It was simply a gentle day.

    And perhaps I needed one.

    I have been thinking a lot about the things I’m releasing lately. The commitments that no longer feel aligned. The expectations I’ve outgrown. The things I once thought I needed to carry simply because I had been carrying them for so long.

    There is something strange about releasing things that aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes a thing doesn’t have to hurt you for you to let it go. Sometimes it has simply completed its assignment.

    A season ends. A responsibility runs its course. A relationship reveals what it was meant to reveal. A dream changes shape. A version of you that worked beautifully in one season no longer fits the woman you’re becoming in the next.

    And I am learning not to argue with that.

    I’m learning that making room for what’s next isn’t always about adding something new. Sometimes it begins with clearing the room.

    I’ve been doing a lot of “all the things” lately. Work. Writing. Building. Creating. Planning. Recording. Dreaming. Making decisions. Reconsidering decisions. Imagining what my life can look like from here.

    There is excitement in it. But there is also a responsibility that comes with creating a new space: I have to decide what gets to come with me.

    Everything cannot.

    Everyone cannot.

    Every commitment cannot.

    Every old expectation cannot.

    And perhaps most importantly, every version of me cannot.

    Some things belong to the woman I was. Some belong to the woman I am. And some things are making their way toward the woman I am becoming.

    I don’t want to rush that woman.

    I don’t want to fill every empty space simply because an empty space makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to mistake stillness for stagnation. Or rest for laziness. Or a pause for failure.

    Today reminded me of that.

    I had things to do. Instead, I had church. I had my daughter. I had an ordinary afternoon. I had a nap. I had a gentle Sunday.

    And maybe that was enough.

    Maybe there are seasons when the most productive thing we can do is stop trying so hard to produce. Maybe sometimes God is doing some of His deepest work in the spaces where we aren’t doing anything at all.

    So tonight, I’m thinking less about what I didn’t accomplish and more about what I’m making room for.

    More peace. More intention. More creativity. More meaningful relationships. More rest. More space to hear myself think. More courage to say no without writing an entire dissertation about why. More willingness to let something end without needing to turn the ending into a tragedy. More trust that I don’t have to know exactly what’s coming to make room for it.

    I think that’s where I am.

    Not starting over. Not reinventing myself. Just clearing some space.

    Releasing what has run its course. Being honest about what no longer belongs. And becoming increasingly protective of the space I’m creating.

    Because I have a feeling something beautiful is going to need room.

    And this time, I don’t want to be so busy filling the space that I miss what is trying to enter it.

    So tonight, I am not disappointed about the things I didn’t get done. (Even forgetting to publish.)

    I’m grateful for the gentle day.

    Maybe it wasn’t a detour from what I needed.

    Maybe it was what I needed.

    And maybe making room for what’s next begins exactly here: with allowing today to be enough.

    Being brave, M.

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Free Mondays

    Staycation? I think it is giving me something more valuable: no performance, no production, no rushing toward the next thing.

    Freedom can be unstructured

    Yesterday was Sunday, and I didn’t write.

    That sentence feels almost rebellious.

    Sunday is my writing day. It’s usually when I sit down with my thoughts, gather the pieces of the week, and turn them into something I can share. But yesterday, I didn’t.

    I rested.

    I had a completely relaxed, wonderfully unproductive day.

    And somewhere between doing nothing and doing exactly what I wanted, I realized something: I really like Free Mondays.

    This week is my birthday week, and I took my entire work week off to celebrate.

    Initially, I had imagined doing it differently. I wanted to go to the beach. Not just any beach—a different beach. I could see it in my mind: the water, the hotel, the restaurants, the beautiful scenery, the little birthday moments that would make it feel like the perfect celebration.

    But then came the planning.

    The driving.

    The reservations.

    The packing.

    The figuring out what to do once I got there.

    The pressure to make the trip worth it because I had gone all the way there.

    And suddenly, the thing I wanted to feel—free—started requiring a lot of work.

    So I changed my mind.

    I chose a staycation.

    There will be a night at a beautiful, posh hotel. A spa day. A fancy solo dinner. Time with my Tribe. Time with Bru. Time at the horse ranch.

    And time where nothing is required of me.

    That last part might be my favorite.

    Today is my first Free Monday.

    No work.

    No sessions.

    No hard decisions.

    No rush moments.

    No deadlines.

    No squeezing something into a 30-minute window because the next thing is already waiting.

    Today, we spent leisurely time at the horse ranch. There was no quick workout afterward because I needed to get somewhere. No looking at the clock every few minutes. No mental calculation of what had to happen next.

    Even driving felt different.

    Normally, driving is transportation. A means to an end.

    Monday, driving felt like part of the leisure.

    There was nowhere I needed to rush to.

    And isn’t that interesting?

    Sometimes freedom isn’t about going somewhere extraordinary.

    Sometimes freedom is about not having to hurry while you’re getting there.

    I think I’ve spent a lot of my life believing that rest had to be earned and that celebrations had to be carefully constructed. That if I was going to take time off, I needed to make the most of it.

    But what if making the most of it means making nothing of it?

    What if the beautiful thing isn’t the itinerary?

    What if it’s waking up and realizing you don’t have one?

    There is something new happening in me.

    I’m learning that I don’t always need to create the experience.

    Sometimes I can simply experience it.

    Free Mondays feel new. Good. Better.

    They feel freeing. Liberating, even.

    And perhaps that’s because there is something deeply sacred about having nowhere to rush to and nothing to prove.

    I am turning 56 this week.

    Maybe this is one of the gifts of getting older: realizing that the life we imagine will make us happy isn’t always the life that actually gives us peace.

    I thought I needed another beach.

    Maybe what I needed was another pace.

    So here I am.

    On my staycation.

    Taking my time.

    Enjoying my people.

    Enjoying my solitude.

    Going to the spa.

    Having a fancy dinner by myself.

    Spending time at the horse ranch.

    Sleeping when I want.

    Writing when I want.

    And maybe not writing at all.

    Because apparently, that is freedom too.

    Happy Free Monday. ♥️

    I’m going to enjoy this one.

    Birthday-ing,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Easy Like Sunday Morning

    We had plans for Sunday—church, a family movie, and a little time together before everyone scattered back into their own corners of life. The plan was simple, but it didn’t unfold the way we expected. We purchased our tickets to see The Odyssey, only to discover that the theater was full. Apparently, the rest of the world had the same idea.

    Sundays, Sunflowers, Solace.

    For a moment, I felt frustrated. We had made the effort, gotten ourselves together, and followed through on what we thought the day would be. But maybe there was something worth noticing in a theater full of people. Maybe we are all tired. Maybe we are all looking for somewhere to place our attention for a couple of hours that isn’t the news, the bills, the uncertainty, the grief, the division, or the weight of responsibilities we cannot control. It is hard out here. People are weary. And sometimes we just want to sit in the dark and let someone else’s story hold us for a while.

    So instead of fighting the interruption, we went home—and somehow, home became the better plan.

    We had a family Bible study on Job chapters 2 and 3, and it turned into a deeper conversation than I expected. It was the kind of moment where Scripture stops being something you simply read and becomes something you wrestle with together. We talked about adversity, about suffering that doesn’t always come with explanation, and about the temptation to assign meaning too quickly when someone is hurting. We sat with Job in the ashes, grieving what had been lost, and we talked about God—not the neat, packaged version that gives us answers for everything, but the God who remains present even when there are no easy answers.

    I found myself thinking about how often we try to escape discomfort. We scroll, we shop, we work, we watch television, we make plans, we fill our calendars, we stay busy. Some of it is healthy and necessary, but some of it is simply our way of saying, “Please, Lord, let me think about something else for a minute.” And I understand that impulse. But Sunday reminded me that sometimes interruption is an invitation—not necessarily to suffer more, and not to become overly spiritual about disappointment, but simply to be present.

    Because perhaps a softer life is not a life without disappointment; it is a life where disappointment doesn’t get the final word. That feels important to remember. A soft life does not mean everything goes according to plan. It does not mean the theater is always open, or that people will not disappoint us, or that life will not shift unexpectedly. Softness is not the absence of hard things. Maybe softness is what allows us to experience hard things without letting them consume everything else.

    We can be frustrated and still grateful, disappointed and still hopeful, tired and still tender. We can acknowledge that something didn’t go the way we wanted without deciding that the entire day—or our entire life—is ruined. There is freedom in that.

    The movie didn’t happen, but the family time did. And maybe that was the story we were meant to live that day. There is something sacred about allowing a day to become something different than what we planned without declaring it a loss. Maybe that is part of a softer life too—not a life without frustration or disappointment, but a life where disappointment does not get the final word.

    We came home, opened Job, talked, laughed a little, and wrestled with hard questions. For a few hours, we weren’t trying to fix the world; we were simply sitting together in it. Easy like Sunday morning—not because everything was easy, but because peace sometimes arrives when we stop insisting that the day go according to plan.

    Maybe God was not in the movie we missed. Maybe He was in the living room, in the conversation, in the willingness to stay. And maybe when life quietly closes a door, we don’t always need to immediately figure out why. Sometimes we can simply go home, be together, open the Word, and see what God might say there.

    Perhaps this is part of learning to live softly: not expecting life to always be gentle, but trusting that we do not have to become hard just because life is not. We can let disappointment be real without letting it become the story. We can loosen our grip on the plan and make room for what is actually happening.

    Because sometimes the blessing is not in getting what we planned. Sometimes it is discovering that what we received was enough. And sometimes Sunday morning feels easy not because life is easier, but because for a little while, we remember where to place our attention—home, family, the Word, God, and each other.

    And that, in the end, was enough.

    Being brave,

    Michelle 🌻🌻

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Held by Grace…

    Poolside: Water Footprints

    There are weeks when being a therapist feels sacred.

    There are other weeks when it feels heartbreakingly human.

    This week reminded me that trauma does not simply leave emotional wounds. It changes how people reason. It interrupts logic, clouds judgment, distorts memory, and convinces brilliant people to make decisions that seem irrational to everyone except the parts of them still trying to survive.

    I found myself sitting with story after story, listening beyond the words being spoken. Behind every “Why would they do that?” was a nervous system doing exactly what it had learned to do years before.

    That realization never gets easier.

    It is one of the bittersweet realities of this work. I spend my days believing in healing while also witnessing how deeply humanity can wound itself. Sometimes I leave sessions carrying the quiet grief that so many people are still searching for safety they should have known as children.

    Humanity often suffers the souls of the lost.

    And therapists…we witness it. We hold hope until our clients can borrow enough of it for themselves.

    This morning, my daughter unknowingly held hope for me. She insisted we go to the pool before anyone else was awake.

    “No excuses, Momma.”

    So I grabbed a bathing suit I’d nearly forgotten I owned, pulled my hair into a messy bun, tossed the paperback edition of Distorted Is the View into my bag, filled a bottle with water, and followed her. Distorted is the View: When a Story Invites You to Stay

    The pool belonged only to us.

    She fussed at me the entire time.

    “Live a little, Momma.”

    “Look at the clouds.”

    “Float.”

    “Be free.”

    I laughed more than I expected. Mostly, I watched her.

    She swam the way she always has—without hesitation, without apology. She floated beneath an open sky as if she had made a lifelong agreement with water. I realized she has loved the water through every stage of her life. Little girl. Teenager. Young woman. Some things remain beautifully unchanged.

    For once, I didn’t slip into reflection.

    I wasn’t searching for meaning.

    I wasn’t trying to turn the moment into a lesson.

    I simply watched my daughter laugh.

    And somehow, that was enough.

    Maybe healing isn’t always found in the breakthrough. Maybe sometimes it arrives in an empty pool before sunrise.

    In a daughter reminding her mother that joy doesn’t have to be earned.

    In clouds that ask nothing of us except to notice them. In floating instead of carrying.

    Early morning didn’t erase the weight of this week. It didn’t answer the hard questions trauma leaves behind. But it reminded me that those of us who spend our lives tending to wounded souls must also remember our own.

    Some Sundays are for prayer. Some are for rest.

    And some are simply for floating.

    Today was a good day. Have courage.

    Graced for more,

    Michelle 🌿

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    Graced for More

    There’s something special about July.

    The seventh month quietly invites me to pause. It isn’t the excitement of a new year or the anticipation of autumn. Instead, it feels like a gentle checkpoint—a place where I can stop long enough to ask myself, How am I really doing?
    This first week of July has found me reflecting more than usual.

    I’ve been taking inventory. Not the kind of inventory that measures success by accomplishments or compares my life to someone else’s timeline. Rather, the kind that requires honesty, courage, and enough grace to tell the truth without condemning myself.

    I’ve reflected on parenting.
    No matter how old our children become, parenting continues to shape us. There are moments I’m incredibly proud of, moments I wish I could relive, conversations I would handle differently, and seasons that stretched me beyond what I thought I could bear. Yet, through every chapter, love has remained constant. Perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts of parenthood—we learn that perfect isn’t the goal. Faithful love is.

    I’ve reflected on singleness.
    Singleness has taught me things marriage never could have. It has uncovered places where I’ve grown stronger, where I’ve healed, and where I still carry hope. There have been disappointments, unmet expectations, and relationships that simply weren’t meant to continue. There have also been beautiful reminders that waiting is not the same as being forgotten.

    Then there are relationships. The journey of loving people—and allowing yourself to be loved—isn’t simple. There have been hopes that never unfolded, missteps I wish I could undo, and mistakes that could break anyone’s heart. Some lessons arrived gently. Others demanded tears before they revealed their purpose.

    Yet I remain here.
    Still believing in love.
    Still believing people can heal.
    Still believing that God writes stories we could never script ourselves.

    I’ve also been taking inventory of practical things.
    My finances. My goals. My dreams. The life I’m building. The spaces I’m organizing. From decluttering closets to organizing my budget, I’ve realized both require similar questions: What belongs? What no longer serves me? What am I making room for? And yes…I’ve even laughed to myself wondering if this is finally the year I’ll commit to playing the lottery. Probably not. But it’s funny what crosses your mind when you’re dreaming about possibilities.

    The question that keeps returning, though, is much deeper: Am I still walking within God’s will for my life? Not someone else’s expectations. Not society’s timeline. Not the pressure to have everything figured out by now.

    Simply God’s will.
    Because I’ve learned that faithfulness doesn’t always look flashy. Sometimes it looks like showing up to work. Paying your bills. Loving your family well. Resting when you’re tired. Saying no when your spirit says no. Continuing to hope after disappointment. Trusting God one ordinary day at a time.

    Perhaps the hardest inventory of all has been extending grace to myself.
    Self-grace sounds beautiful until it’s time to practice it. I’m often harder on myself than anyone else could ever be.

    I’ve never been one to look for shortcuts. I’ve always believed in doing the work, taking the longer road if necessary, and building a life with integrity. There are consequences to choosing the long way around. Progress can feel slower. Success may arrive later than expected. Sometimes you wonder if everyone else discovered a map you somehow missed.

    But I also know this: The long road has introduced me to a deeper version of myself. It has strengthened my faith. It has refined my character.
    It has taught me that love is less about arriving and more about becoming.

    Maybe that’s what this season is really teaching me.

    To become someone who allows herself to be loved while continuing to love others well. To celebrate growth instead of perfection. To trust God’s pace instead of my own. To believe that every chapter—even the difficult ones—has been shaping something beautiful.

    As July unfolds, my prayer is simple.
    May I continue taking honest inventory without losing hope. May I organize my heart as carefully as I organize my home. May I steward my finances with wisdom, my relationships with intention, and my dreams with open hands. Most of all, may I remember that God’s grace has always been greater than my regrets. And perhaps that’s the sweetest place to begin again.

    The greatest wonder isn’t that I’ve built the perfect life. It’s that God has sustained me through every imperfect season with grace.

    Gracefully, M.🌻

    “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord.” Book of Lamentations 3:40

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • The Life I No Longer Want to Escape

    Sometimes healing isn’t found in extraordinary moments. Sometimes it’s waiting in a rainy afternoon, a son’s quiet kindness, and the life we’ve finally learned to notice.

    Yesterday was beautifully ordinary.
    I spent most of the day with my youngest son, Brutus. At nineteen, he is becoming someone I enjoy simply being around—not because he is my son, but because I genuinely like the human he is growing into.

    We started our morning at the gym. He has become my strength training coach, patiently teaching me form, encouraging me to trust my body in new ways. After helping me through my workout, he stayed for his own while I rushed home to work for a bit before we met again later that afternoon.

    Together, we attended our first horse show.
    The stable where he has been learning horsemanship hosted its inaugural show, and I found myself listening more than watching. His excitement wasn’t performative; it was rooted in learning. Every few moments he would lean over to explain a technique, identify a movement, or share something new he had discovered. Watching someone you love come alive through curiosity is a gift all its own.

    It was hot, sticky hot—one of those Carolina afternoons where the sun seems to wrap itself around everything. Yet being surrounded by horses, open fields, and the quiet rhythm of nature made the heat feel almost secondary.

    There was a moment that stayed with me.
    He noticed I didn’t have a place to sit and quietly found me a chair. I declined. Later, as people shifted around us, he gently pulled me a little closer beside him, instinctively making sure I felt protected. It wasn’t dramatic. It was love. The kind of love that matures almost unnoticed. The kind parents pray they’ll one day receive from the children they’ve spent years protecting.

    When we returned home, there was nowhere else either of us needed to be. He disappeared into his room. Koda curled into his favorite spot on the sofa. I opened my book. Then the rain came.

    The storm rolled in slowly, tapping against the windows while the house settled into that sacred silence that asks nothing of you except your presence. Koda slept. I read. The world outside watered itself. It felt like magic.

    Koda Bear, in the Storms

    As I sat there, I realized how deeply I love my life.

    Not because it is perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered or every wound has healed. But because I’ve learned to recognize the beauty of the pauses.

    The quiet. The small victories. The ordinary moments that somehow become sacred when we’re paying attention. God has a way of completing things within us that we don’t even realize are still under construction. While we’re busy looking for transformation in grand gestures, He often does His deepest work in stillness—in conversations with our children, afternoons beneath open skies, storms that invite us to slow down, and homes that finally feel like peace.

    I’ve also learned that self-love isn’t nearly as tidy as people make it sound. It isn’t a checklist.
    It isn’t one perfect morning routine or one profound breakthrough. It isn’t forgiving yourself once and never struggling again. Sometimes self-love is simply staying. Staying present. Staying soft. Staying open enough to notice that your life is already holding pieces of the very peace you’ve been praying for.

    What I know is this: I have a heart that has loved deeply, even when it cost me. I am loved in beautifully complex ways. And somehow… it all works for me. Maybe that’s what healing begins to look like. Not a destination.

    Just the quiet confidence that the life you’re living no longer needs to be escaped. Sometimes it simply needs to be noticed.

    Loving brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Sunflowers
    Staying Soft

  • Distorted is the View: When a Story Invites You to Stay

    Book Review: First Novel

    Some books entertain us. Some books educate us.
    And then there are books that invite us to sit down, settle in, and stay awhile.

    Recently, I had the privilege of reading, “Distorted is the View” by Khaya Ronkainen, and I found myself lingering long after I had closed the pages.
    As a therapist, my mind is often moving—holding stories, solving problems, making connections, and creating space for others. It is rare that a book quietens my brain. Yet, that is exactly what happened while reading this story.

    I was drawn into the lives of the characters in a way that felt both gentle and profound. I found myself invested not only in the main characters, but in the entire ecosystem of their lives—the family unit, their friendships, their adversaries, and the protectors who emerged along the way. Each relationship seemed to matter. Each person carried weight.

    Perhaps what captivated me most was the story’s generational reach.

    The choices made by one generation echoed into the next. The wounds, the resilience, the love, the misunderstandings, and the hope all seemed to ripple outward, reminding me that our lives rarely belong only to us. We inherit stories. We shape stories. And whether intentionally or unintentionally, we leave stories behind.

    There were moments while reading when I found myself pausing—not because the story was difficult, but because it felt familiar in the way all deeply human stories do. The questions of belonging, connection, identity, and legacy are ones many of us carry. Khaya’s writing invites readers to sit with those questions rather than rush past them.

    As I reflected on the book, I found myself thinking about the television series, “This Is Us.” Not because the stories are the same, but because both invite us to consider the complexities of family, identity, memory, and belonging. Reading. “Distorted is the View” felt like stepping into Khaya’s imagination and witnessing how deeply she understands the impact of human connection across generations.

    For those who appreciate stories that are character-driven, emotionally layered, and reflective of the complexities of family life, this book offers something special. It is the kind of story that encourages readers to slow down and pay attention.

    And perhaps that is one of the greatest gifts a book can offer in a world that moves so quickly. I was honored when Khaya shared that she would like to include an excerpt from my review among the early praise for the book. To know that my words resonated with her is a gift I do not take lightly.

    If you’re looking for a thoughtful summer read that explores relationships, legacy, and the enduring impact of our shared humanity, I encourage you to learn more about “Distorted is the View” and Khaya’s work here:

    https://www.khayaronkainen.fi/distorted-is-the-view/

    Books have a way of finding us when we need them. This one found me at just the right time.

    Intimately Worded, Michelle🌿

    Michelle Tillman, LCMHC| Therapist, Writer & Host of Let’s Circle Back Podcast 💛

  • Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    What Recovery Is Teaching Me About Self-Care and Self-Awareness

    Sunday Walks

    There is something about recovery that slows life down enough for you to notice it.

    This past week, as I continue healing after surgery, I found myself looking at self-care through a different lens. Not as another task on a checklist. Not as something to squeeze into a busy schedule. But as an invitation to become more aware of myself.

    Awareness is funny that way. It often arrives quietly.

    This weekend was filled with little discoveries.

    During a wine-shopping trip, I stumbled across a no-sugar white wine. The name alone made me smile: Sunny with a Chance of Flowers. Isn’t that delightful? Sometimes joy shows up in the smallest places—a clever label, an unexpected find, a moment that makes you pause and grin.

    I finally sat still long enough to do an at-home facial.

    Friends, stop sleeping on your facial hygiene.

    There is something deeply satisfying about taking twenty minutes to care for your skin. It felt less like beauty maintenance and more like an act of honoring myself. The warm water, the cleansing, the quiet attention—it was invigorating. A reminder that tending to ourselves is not vanity. It is presence.

    I also reached out to my best friend from high school.

    We laughed until we could hardly catch our breath. Our conversation wandered through aging, menopause, parenting adult children, grandmothering, dating in our fifties, and the beautiful freedom of loving our “no.”

    At one point, we found ourselves discussing retirement.

    Retirement.

    How did we get here?

    I am still chuckling about it.

    There is a unique comfort in friendships that have witnessed multiple versions of you. Friends who knew you before the responsibilities, before the heartbreaks, before the career milestones, before the wisdom. Friends who can remind you that while much has changed, something essential remains beautifully the same.

    Sunday brought another gift.

    My son and I visited a different park and took a walk together. The weather was perfect. The kind of day that reminds you God is generous with simple things—sunshine, fresh air, movement, conversation, and time.

    I love Sundays.

    They feel like a sacred exhale before a new week begins.

    As I prepared for the week ahead, I found myself creating homework assignments for several clients navigating difficult healing journeys. There is a space I deeply cherish as a therapist—the place where my clinical mind meets my therapeutic heart.

    Knowledge matters. Research matters. Interventions matter.

    But so does compassion.

    So does sitting with someone in the uncertainty of becoming.

    So does believing healing is possible even when someone else cannot yet see it for themselves.

    Perhaps that is why this week’s reflections felt so meaningful.

    Recovery has reminded me that self-care is really a self-awareness challenge.

    Can we notice what brings us joy?

    Can we recognize when our bodies need rest?

    Can we make room for friendships that nourish us?

    Can we embrace new seasons without mourning every season that has passed?

    Can we accept that healing is often found in ordinary moments?

    A walk.

    A conversation.

    A facial.

    A glass of wine with an impossibly charming name.

    The older I get, the more I believe that a meaningful life is not built from grand gestures alone. It is built from paying attention. It is built from noticing where grace has quietly settled.

    This week, grace looked like laughter, friendship, recovery, sunshine, meaningful work, and a Sunday well spent.

    And honestly, that feels like a pretty beautiful way to heal.

    Being brave,

    Michelle ✨🌿✨

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • Softly: Holding Space for My Own Words

    Softly: Holding Space for My Own Words

    There is a specific kind of silence that exists before a breakthrough. It’s the silence of the soil before the first sprout breaks through—a quiet, heavy waiting. For a while, my pen felt like that soil: dormant, yet holding a universe of potential. But lately, there has been a shift. A rejuvenation.

    In my practice, I often tell my clients that healing is not a linear path, but a spiral—we return to old places with new eyes. I am returning to my writing now, not out of the frantic “shoulds” of a career, but because I am learning to love the discipline of it again. As a Black woman and a therapist, my life is often dedicated to holding space for the narratives of others. I witness the trauma, the triumph, and the messy “in-betweens” of the human condition. It is holy work, a ministry of presence, but it requires a different kind of “due diligence” than the creative soul demands.

    I find myself still wondering, What does that diligence look like for me now? It feels like a commitment to the truth that exists outside of a diagnostic manual, a surrender to the promise in Isaiah 43:19: “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

    The Grounding and the Expounding

    Writing is my peculiar grace. It is the only thing I know that can simultaneously ground me and expound me without causing harm. In the clinical world, we talk about “containment”—the ability to hold difficult emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Writing is my ultimate container. It roots me in the present moment, in the physical sensation of the word meeting the page, yet it allows my spirit to expand, to reach toward truths I didn’t know I was carrying. It is a soft place to land and a vast place to fly.

    The Shadow of the Teenager

    I was a writer long before I was a therapist. Long before the degrees, the licenses, and the clinical formulations, there was just Michelle and her notebook. Yet, as I sit to work on my first book, I often feel a familiar shadow. It’s that awkward, “weird” teenage version of myself. She’s still there, hovering over the keyboard, whispering doubts about whether these words are enough to merit an editor or a place on a shelf.

    In therapy, we might call this “ego state” work. I have to remind that younger version of me that she doesn’t have to carry the weight of the book alone. We are doing this together now. I am the woman I needed back then, and she is the spark I need right now. We are no longer in the desert; the river is starting to flow.

    The Muse of the Blog

    While the book feels like a marathon, this blog—Intimately Worded—has become my muse. There is an ease here. Publishing a post feels like a deep, collective exhale. It is the training ground for my bigger dreams. And yes, I have those dreams: to be the famous, money-making author, to see my name in lights not for my clinical notes, but for the soul I pour into my prose.

    I am skilled in clinical writing, yes. I can draft a treatment plan with my eyes closed, weaving logic and empathy into a professional narrative. But there is a different magic in “playing with words” just for the sake of the play. It is where my spirit breathes.

    “You Are Such a Michelle”

    Whenever I find myself caught in the web of my own complexity—the therapist analyzing the writer, or the writer questioning the therapist—I hear my mother’s voice. I can hear the specific tone, that familiar cadence that only a mother can have.

    “You are such a Michelle.”

    I repeat those words to myself like a mantra. In her tone, it isn’t a critique; it’s an acknowledgement of my essence. It’s a reminder that I am allowed to be all of it: the skilled clinician, the ambitious dreamer, the spiritual seeker, and the woman who is finally, discipline by discipline, coming home to her words.

    Writing out of love is the highest form of rejuvenation. The “new thing” is here. I am grounded, I am perceived, and I am ready to see where the words take me next.

    Being Brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • Recovering + Healing Intimately Worded

    Something New: May Is Coming, and So Am I

    Essentials: Vitamins •Water •Writing

    There is something humbling about surgery.

    About being placed on a table. About surrendering control. About waking up and realizing your body has been altered in ways you cannot immediately see but can absolutely feel.

    My surgery was successful. I am healing. I am grateful.

    And yet.

    There is a quiet grief in realizing your body is no longer arranged the way it once was. Nothing cosmetic. Nothing dramatic to the outside world. But internally — something is missing. Removed because it was making me sick. Removed so I could live healthier.

    Still, the body keeps record.

    And sometimes, in the quiet of the evening, I feel like I am living in a body that is familiar… yet slightly foreign.

    I am told I will feel better. I am told my energy will return. I am told my body will thank me.

    I believe that.

    But healing is not just physical. It is relational. It is emotional. It is spiritual. And this is where my Tribe stepped in. There is nothing like being taken care of when you are the one who is usually strong. The helper. The therapist. The one holding space.

    To have meals brought. To receive check-in texts.
    To be told, “Rest. I’ve got this.” That kind of love softens something in you. Support is not a luxury. It is a lifeline.

    We were never designed to white-knuckle recovery alone. Independence is admirable. Isolation is not. My healing has been wrapped in the hands of people who showed up without being asked twice. That is sacred.

    And something else surprised me.

    Before surgery, I was placed on a restricted diet. Very clean. Very intentional. No rushing. No drive-through. No emotional snacking between sessions. And I liked it.

    I felt clearer. Lighter. More disciplined in a way that did not feel punishing. I enjoyed cooking at home. I enjoyed sitting with my meals. I enjoyed honoring my body instead of negotiating with it.

    There is a lesson there.

    Sometimes what feels like limitation is actually refinement.

    May is approaching.

    May carries warmth. Flowers. New light. But for many of us, it also carries the tender ache of Mother’s Day. The grief of what was. The grief of what wasn’t. The grief of what we hoped would be different by now.

    I feel that too.

    Healing in one area does not erase longing in another.

    But this quarter of the year — I want better.

    Better health. Better boundaries. Better nourishment. Better stewardship of my body and my time.

    Not perfection. Just better. More aligned.

    If surgery taught me anything, it is this: your body will force the conversation you have been postponing.

    Slow down. Eat differently. Let people help you.
    Grieve what changed. Welcome what remains.

    My body is not new. It carries scars. It carries history. It now carries absence. But it also carries resilience.

    And perhaps this is what May is offering — not reinvention, but renewal.

    A gentler strength.
    A supported healing.
    A deeper listening.

    If you are entering this month with hope and grief sitting side by side, you are not alone.

    Take the help. Eat the meal at home. Rest when your body whispers. Let love find you in your most human places.

    May is coming.

    And so are we. 🌿🌻🌿

    Being brave,

    XOXO 💕

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • When Loss Becomes Structure, and Grief Becomes Growth

    Forever Bloom

    There is a kind of loss that rearranges the furniture of your life. Not just the dramatic kind, and not only death. The loss of a relationship. The loss of income. The loss of identity. The loss of the version of you that once felt certain. The loss of something you prayed for and believed would stay. Any loss that breaks you open deserves to be named.

    What we rarely discuss is how necessary structure becomes after loss. When something shatters us, the nervous system searches for safety, the mind searches for meaning, and the heart searches for steady ground. Without intention, we can drift. Days blur together. Motivation thins. We mistake emotional chaos for destiny. But structure is not denial. Structure is how we begin to heal.

    After loss, structure becomes sacred. It may look simple, even ordinary. Waking up at the same time each morning. Making the bed. Drinking water before coffee. Showing up to work even when your heart feels heavy. Keeping therapy appointments. Walking. Praying. Journaling. Breathing deeply when emotion rises. These acts are not small. They are stabilizing. They quietly tell the body, “You are not dying. You are becoming.”

    What broke you open is not here to destroy you. It is here to deepen you. Breakthrough does not always arrive wrapped in celebration. Sometimes it arrives dressed as loss. Sometimes it looks like rejection. Sometimes it looks like a door closing that you begged God to keep open. Growth often requires grief. We do not evolve without releasing. We do not mature without mourning. We do not become wiser by clinging to what once felt safe.

    There is a particular courage required to release what you once prayed for. That surrender humbles you. It exposes attachment and teaches you that answered prayers are not always permanent assignments. It forces you to trust that what is leaving may be making room, even when that space initially feels empty and frightening.

    The difficulty of your current season will one day become a memory. There will come a time when you say, “I remember when,” and this chapter will be the turning point in your story. Not because you passed some invisible test or earned joy through suffering, but because adversity reorganizes us. When life does not balance neatly—when the yin does not yang—our humanity steps forward. We become more compassionate. More discerning. More honest. More courageous. We learn to love with clarity instead of fear.

    Your good things will multiply, not as a reward for pain, but as a natural consequence of who you are becoming through it. When you have been broken open, you see differently. When you have grieved deeply, you choose differently. When you have survived loss, you no longer settle for what diminishes you. You recognize alignment more quickly. You protect your peace more intentionally.

    Trust the healing that follows breakthrough, even when the breakthrough first looked like devastation. Trust yourself to recognize when you are stepping into the next love, the next lesson, and the next win. There is wisdom growing in you right now. There is clarity forming beneath the ache. There is strength building in the quiet moments no one else sees.

    Structure your days. Honor your grief. Release with intention. And then allow your life to reorganize around who you are becoming rather than what you lost. You are not behind. You are not ruined. You are in the middle of transformation. And one day, this will be in the past—evidence that you survived, evolved, and loved again.

    Being brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle