Grace and Relationships

Photo taken: November 2020.
Live less out of habit and more out of intent.” ~Anonymous

I haven’t written about earthing my 50th birthday in August. I am not going to excuse myself by stating I am too busy. As I reflect, I have realized its all been rather intimate, personal and my experiences unearth my vulnerability and leaves my heart wide open. This shifting has been grand, wonderful, unexpected and at times the most painful.

Grand….I was able to treat myself to a mini getaway from home without travelling out of state due to CoVid. This beautiful Caribbean themed B&B, located here in Charlotte, NC: http://www.mselsies.com/ The owner was so welcoming, comforting and soulfully-bossy. Just the type of “love” I needed. I’ve never taken a getaway alone. I have always travelled as a couple and/or with my kids. All of this was new to me. I was nervously excited and my soul weary.

Wonderful.…I was nurtured, pampered, fed—my palate was amazed. I was the only guest during my stay. I was fussed over just enough yet left alone with as much space I required. My soul was cared for and some healing took place. My spiritual self required rest yet yearned for more of this. Not only was I fed well –the conversations, the prayers and wisdoms of Life were like Nature’s own medicine.

Unexpected…My core beliefs for my independence was shaken. This ability I have of taking care of myself, of knowing that I have to do this alone was a comfort for me. Although, I’ve always hoped for a love that is comparable to how I love, it did not seem to be in sight. I believe the glimpse of being loved scared me, of the the unexpected places where I sought solace, solitude and sacred rest my Michelle was uprooted.

“Michelle, you’re judgmental in your personal life and only in your personal life. You need to hear what you need to hear not what you to want to hear. Your independence has taught you to make it, to push through. You discern and that is a gift. You’ve forgotten how to be taken care of.” ~Cheryl Watkins, Ms. Elisie’s Granddaughter and Owner of the B&B. She told me this in our introduction. It hurt to hear. My initial plan for my mini-retreat was to reserve a upscale spa and my mind was changed to this intimate oasis. I don’t believe our meeting was happenstance.

I’ve been working this singleness and motherhood with grace while allowing Grace to lead me through graduate life and being a therapist. I haven’t dated in years; no one has approached me in a nurturing, chivalrous manner that would require me to date. During this time, a guy entered my life unannounced and with genuine effort. He paid for my second day at the B&B. He arranged a spa day after hearing of the difficult work day I experienced. He wanted to know if I ate, took my vitamins, was I smiling, was I protected. The more we talked and the grand gestures he carried out was healing old hard wounds. I don’t fall easily. I cannot afford it.

As I live and love within my 50th cycle love is frightening; we lose people either by choice, their actions or inactions, yet mostly consequences will pull us away from others. The extension of grace requires understanding, forgiveness for peace and growth. What I want isn’t always what it seems no matter how conscientious I am. I am learning to move forward with all that I am and that incudes: authenticity, truth, grace and love. I am doing well in my wait. I remind myself that my self-work gives tremendous value to my self-worth. #BeAWholeMovement #FreedSoul Singleness Relationships His plans

I encourage you to trust how you give, learn that rest is sacred and your ground is too. Stand your ground. #LoveGives #ShineAnyway

Intimately Worded,

Michelle

*Please note that since our meet she sends reminder texts: “How beez u?” She happies this heart of mine.

6 thoughts on “Grace and Relationships

  1. Khaya Ronkainen says:

    I enjoyed reading about your grand experience, Michelle. It’s good to cultivate “ME” time to be. Kudos for being brave and doing this for you!

    I’m happy you are learning to move forward with all that you are…It’s important to embrace all of you. And more importantly, keep taking these small steps until you can get to a place where you’re comfortable, “…to be taken care of.”

    A beautiful post written such openness and wisdom! Thank you for sharing and great inspiration, always. And with this one, “I encourage you to trust how you give, learn that rest is sacred and your ground is too. Stand your ground.” you have given me something to chew on as I meditate on my Word for 2021. We’ll see what comes out of it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • A. Michelle! says:

      Oh Khaya, you’re quite amazing. Thanks for reading and receiving. I’m doing my best to blog more. Your encouragement is always on point. You give value so much value. Trust your worthiness; it boomerangs. I’m praying a grander 2021 for all of us. We’ll definitely see ♥️🥰 #GracedForMore

      Liked by 1 person

  2. authorcherie says:

    APPLAUSE. APPLAUSE. So happy to see you (musical notes) enjoy(ed) yourself for me!
    Take care of YOU. And yes, your self-work does add tremendous value to your self-worth! Say it again, my sista! Say it again and again and again!
    I am loving your room, you breakfast, lunch and all. #Wow I will check back with you for a referral once the pandemic is over to visit!
    By the way, what’s your drink of choice? The book your reading?
    I love me some Moscato and I’m reading The Recipe for A Perfect Wife.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A. Michelle! says:

      I’m so ecstatic that you enjoyed the read! I appreciate your encouragement and support . ❤️❤️ I love a good red wine; currently reading Black Macho and the Myth of the SuperWoman, as well as Frying Plantain. I’ll check out your read….the title has my mind swirling, “Perfect Wife.” Happy Holidays Great Lady! Keep safe.

      Like

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