Intimately Worded with Michelle

Category: parenting

  • The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    Graced for More

    There’s something special about July.

    The seventh month quietly invites me to pause. It isn’t the excitement of a new year or the anticipation of autumn. Instead, it feels like a gentle checkpoint—a place where I can stop long enough to ask myself, How am I really doing?
    This first week of July has found me reflecting more than usual.

    I’ve been taking inventory. Not the kind of inventory that measures success by accomplishments or compares my life to someone else’s timeline. Rather, the kind that requires honesty, courage, and enough grace to tell the truth without condemning myself.

    I’ve reflected on parenting.
    No matter how old our children become, parenting continues to shape us. There are moments I’m incredibly proud of, moments I wish I could relive, conversations I would handle differently, and seasons that stretched me beyond what I thought I could bear. Yet, through every chapter, love has remained constant. Perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts of parenthood—we learn that perfect isn’t the goal. Faithful love is.

    I’ve reflected on singleness.
    Singleness has taught me things marriage never could have. It has uncovered places where I’ve grown stronger, where I’ve healed, and where I still carry hope. There have been disappointments, unmet expectations, and relationships that simply weren’t meant to continue. There have also been beautiful reminders that waiting is not the same as being forgotten.

    Then there are relationships. The journey of loving people—and allowing yourself to be loved—isn’t simple. There have been hopes that never unfolded, missteps I wish I could undo, and mistakes that could break anyone’s heart. Some lessons arrived gently. Others demanded tears before they revealed their purpose.

    Yet I remain here.
    Still believing in love.
    Still believing people can heal.
    Still believing that God writes stories we could never script ourselves.

    I’ve also been taking inventory of practical things.
    My finances. My goals. My dreams. The life I’m building. The spaces I’m organizing. From decluttering closets to organizing my budget, I’ve realized both require similar questions: What belongs? What no longer serves me? What am I making room for? And yes…I’ve even laughed to myself wondering if this is finally the year I’ll commit to playing the lottery. Probably not. But it’s funny what crosses your mind when you’re dreaming about possibilities.

    The question that keeps returning, though, is much deeper: Am I still walking within God’s will for my life? Not someone else’s expectations. Not society’s timeline. Not the pressure to have everything figured out by now.

    Simply God’s will.
    Because I’ve learned that faithfulness doesn’t always look flashy. Sometimes it looks like showing up to work. Paying your bills. Loving your family well. Resting when you’re tired. Saying no when your spirit says no. Continuing to hope after disappointment. Trusting God one ordinary day at a time.

    Perhaps the hardest inventory of all has been extending grace to myself.
    Self-grace sounds beautiful until it’s time to practice it. I’m often harder on myself than anyone else could ever be.

    I’ve never been one to look for shortcuts. I’ve always believed in doing the work, taking the longer road if necessary, and building a life with integrity. There are consequences to choosing the long way around. Progress can feel slower. Success may arrive later than expected. Sometimes you wonder if everyone else discovered a map you somehow missed.

    But I also know this: The long road has introduced me to a deeper version of myself. It has strengthened my faith. It has refined my character.
    It has taught me that love is less about arriving and more about becoming.

    Maybe that’s what this season is really teaching me.

    To become someone who allows herself to be loved while continuing to love others well. To celebrate growth instead of perfection. To trust God’s pace instead of my own. To believe that every chapter—even the difficult ones—has been shaping something beautiful.

    As July unfolds, my prayer is simple.
    May I continue taking honest inventory without losing hope. May I organize my heart as carefully as I organize my home. May I steward my finances with wisdom, my relationships with intention, and my dreams with open hands. Most of all, may I remember that God’s grace has always been greater than my regrets. And perhaps that’s the sweetest place to begin again.

    The greatest wonder isn’t that I’ve built the perfect life. It’s that God has sustained me through every imperfect season with grace.

    Gracefully, M.🌻

    “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord.” Book of Lamentations 3:40

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • The Life I No Longer Want to Escape

    Sometimes healing isn’t found in extraordinary moments. Sometimes it’s waiting in a rainy afternoon, a son’s quiet kindness, and the life we’ve finally learned to notice.

    Yesterday was beautifully ordinary.
    I spent most of the day with my youngest son, Brutus. At nineteen, he is becoming someone I enjoy simply being around—not because he is my son, but because I genuinely like the human he is growing into.

    We started our morning at the gym. He has become my strength training coach, patiently teaching me form, encouraging me to trust my body in new ways. After helping me through my workout, he stayed for his own while I rushed home to work for a bit before we met again later that afternoon.

    Together, we attended our first horse show.
    The stable where he has been learning horsemanship hosted its inaugural show, and I found myself listening more than watching. His excitement wasn’t performative; it was rooted in learning. Every few moments he would lean over to explain a technique, identify a movement, or share something new he had discovered. Watching someone you love come alive through curiosity is a gift all its own.

    It was hot, sticky hot—one of those Carolina afternoons where the sun seems to wrap itself around everything. Yet being surrounded by horses, open fields, and the quiet rhythm of nature made the heat feel almost secondary.

    There was a moment that stayed with me.
    He noticed I didn’t have a place to sit and quietly found me a chair. I declined. Later, as people shifted around us, he gently pulled me a little closer beside him, instinctively making sure I felt protected. It wasn’t dramatic. It was love. The kind of love that matures almost unnoticed. The kind parents pray they’ll one day receive from the children they’ve spent years protecting.

    When we returned home, there was nowhere else either of us needed to be. He disappeared into his room. Koda curled into his favorite spot on the sofa. I opened my book. Then the rain came.

    The storm rolled in slowly, tapping against the windows while the house settled into that sacred silence that asks nothing of you except your presence. Koda slept. I read. The world outside watered itself. It felt like magic.

    Koda Bear, in the Storms

    As I sat there, I realized how deeply I love my life.

    Not because it is perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered or every wound has healed. But because I’ve learned to recognize the beauty of the pauses.

    The quiet. The small victories. The ordinary moments that somehow become sacred when we’re paying attention. God has a way of completing things within us that we don’t even realize are still under construction. While we’re busy looking for transformation in grand gestures, He often does His deepest work in stillness—in conversations with our children, afternoons beneath open skies, storms that invite us to slow down, and homes that finally feel like peace.

    I’ve also learned that self-love isn’t nearly as tidy as people make it sound. It isn’t a checklist.
    It isn’t one perfect morning routine or one profound breakthrough. It isn’t forgiving yourself once and never struggling again. Sometimes self-love is simply staying. Staying present. Staying soft. Staying open enough to notice that your life is already holding pieces of the very peace you’ve been praying for.

    What I know is this: I have a heart that has loved deeply, even when it cost me. I am loved in beautifully complex ways. And somehow… it all works for me. Maybe that’s what healing begins to look like. Not a destination.

    Just the quiet confidence that the life you’re living no longer needs to be escaped. Sometimes it simply needs to be noticed.

    Loving brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Sunflowers
    Staying Soft
  • This Is What Healing Became

    This Is What Healing Became

    — Dating with Intention, Growing in Purpose, and Embracing What’s Next

    Soft landing

    I feel like I’m moving into something new.

    It isn’t loud. It isn’t forced. There’s no dramatic breaking or unraveling—just a quiet unfolding. A gentle crossing over into a space that feels… different. I feel loved here. Sure-footed. Grounded in a way that doesn’t require me to prove anything. And there’s a happiness present—steady, unyielding, yet breathable. The kind that doesn’t suffocate or demand, but simply is.

    Earlier this week, a client told me, “You’re strong.”

    I paused, and I gently told her, “I have strength.”

    Because there is a difference.

    Being “strong” can sometimes feel like a role we’re forced to play. A fixed identity. A weight. It can sound like survival dressed up as virtue—the kind that leaves no room for softness, for breaking, for being held. Strength, on the other hand, is alive. It moves. It breathes. It grows.

    My strength is not rigid—it replenishes.

    It extends grace when I need it most.

    It allows me to bend without losing myself.

    It lets me rest without guilt.

    Strength is what carried me through the seasons where I didn’t feel chosen, where I questioned my path, where I showed up anyway—uncertain, but willing. It is what taught me that endurance is not about hardening, but about remaining open… even when it would be easier to close.

    And now, I feel the fruit of that.

    Not in a performative way. Not in a way that needs validation. But in a quiet knowing: I am held. By God. By the work I’ve done. By the woman I’ve become.

    This newness doesn’t feel like pressure—it feels like permission.

    Permission to soften without losing my power.

    Permission to experience joy without waiting for something to go wrong.

    Permission to receive love without questioning if I’ve earned it.

    And as I sit with this newness, I’m beginning to understand what it is asking of me.

    It is calling me to be intentional in the spaces I once approached cautiously.

    When I return to dating, it will not be from a place of loneliness or curiosity—but from alignment. I am no longer entertaining potential without evidence. I am no longer drawn to what feels familiar but unsettled. I will date with intention—clear, grounded, and open—allowing connection to meet me where I already stand whole. There will be no rushing, no proving, no abandoning myself to be chosen. Only mutuality. Only peace.

    This newness is also stretching me professionally.

    There is more for me to learn, more for me to carry, more for me to offer. I can feel the pull toward another certification—another layer of knowledge, another refinement of my craft. Not for validation, not for appearance, but because I honor the responsibility of what I hold. The letters behind my name will grow, yes—but more importantly, so will my capacity to serve, to discern, to lead with both skill and spirit.

    And then there is this sacred space I am entering—empty nesting.

    It is tender. It is unfamiliar. It is quieter than what I’ve known for so long. And yet, I am not resisting it. I am leaning in. I am allowing myself to feel the fullness of what it means to release and to trust that what I have poured into will continue to live and breathe beyond me.

    At the same time, I find myself gently preparing—creating provision for what’s to come. Not from fear, but from wisdom. Not from lack, but from stewardship. I am honoring both the present moment and the future that is unfolding before me.

    This is what newness means for me:

    Not striving—but aligning.

    Not forcing—but allowing.

    Not bracing—but trusting.

    Do the necessary work.

    I am learning that growth doesn’t always feel like pressure. Sometimes it feels like peace. Sometimes it feels like clarity. Sometimes it feels like standing in the middle of your life and realizing… you are no longer trying to survive it.

    You are ready to live it.

    And maybe that’s where I am.

    Not at the end of anything.

    But at the beginning of something sacred.

    A life that feels both grounded and expansive.

    A heart that is no longer bracing—but open.

    A spirit that trusts what is unfolding, even without having all the answers.

    If this is what newness feels like…

    I am ready to receive it.

    Being brave,

    Michelle ✨🌿✨

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • October’ing: Autumn’s Season

    October’ing: Autumn’s Season

    Navigating with Love

    The Becoming: Generational Mid-Life and the Emotional Intelligence of Self-Discovery

    It’s in the quiet, candlelit hours of GenX-ing—when menopause-induced insomnia gently disrupts the night—that the deepest soul work begins. This is the new terrain of life: navigating the Empty Nest, the clinical realities of Diabetes and Menopause, and the relentless work of Single Parenting. But more than a list of challenges, this is an invitation to lean into the continuous, lifelong process of becoming—the act of learning and aligning with the truest self.

    The Stirring: Reconciling Capacity and Calling

    Last Sunday, the Pastor’s abrupt, almost vernacular question—”You just showing up… and not using your gifts. Not nan gift, not one?!”—acts as a spiritual provocation. It’s the divine equivalent of a coach calling a time-out: not an accusation, but a forceful invitation to acknowledge the potential you hold. This moment is the essence of true spiritual accountability, my own.

    This spiritual accountability, though met with an internal response “Sis tired” chuckle, remains the essence of emotional self-awareness. It tugged at my heart —to reconcile our current capacity with our inherent calling.

    My history with faith is one of reverence, where teaching Sunday School once felt like a natural flow of my spiritual gift. That gift, when a church home shifted, didn’t vanish—it simply transferred its medium. It became the ministry of therapy.

    This transference illustrates a powerful clinical principle of emotional intelligence: Adaptability and the re-channeling of purpose. My “can-do” spirit, once dedicated to religious education, now finds its highest expression in professional ethics—the oath to do no harm, to embody empathy, and to remain faithful to my clients’ healing. This is the integration of self—a conscious choice where the spiritual commitment (“I’ll show up faithfully”) merges with professional standards. That growing, healing confidence—the emergence of the affirmed “I”—is the sound of self-mastery in action.

    Podcast: https://renovare.org/podcasts/lifewithgod/reward-sibanda-how-to-fast

    Clinical Wisdom: Navigating the Body as a Sacred Text

    Our mid-life landscape forces us to confront the undeniable link between the physical and the emotional. As a therapist, I’m immersed in evidence-based science, theory, and methodology. Yet, the wisdom gained from navigating my own chronic illness (Diabetes) and hormonal shifts (Menopause) is a science of the self.

    The intricate dance of managing blood sugars, bone density, and muscle mass while wrestling with sweat soaked sheets is a poignant metaphor for my current developmental stage. It teaches an advanced form of self-regulation. The detailed, excruciating observation—that medication absorption differs between the thigh and the stomach—is a stark reminder of the precision required for body-mind integration. It hurt.

    We recognize that even when we felt we were “doing all the good things” —-in our 50s, the body’s internal clock and genetic blueprint have the final word. This necessity for structured, consistent care isn’t a limitation; it’s an essential, deep spiritual discipline. It’s the intentional practice of fasting to not neglect, ensuring our physical temple remains whole, just in a beautifully new way. This is not a space of fear, but of heightened mindfulness and self-compassion.

    The Anatomy of a Soul-Stretch: Identity and Healing

    Identity in mid-life is not a fixed point, but a perpetual soul-stretch. The silvering of hair is less about acquired wisdom and more about the simple, undeniable marker of experience. The heart will continue its rhythm of love, pain, breakage, and repair. What we learn is the heart’s untiring capacity for healing. The journey of emotional intelligence hinges on this realization: that healing is not an end state, but a regenerative process.

    For those of us cultivating solitude, the fleeting frustration of “being single still” gives way to a miraculous enhancement of self-sufficiency and internal coherence. We are not lost in the struggle, nor are we frantically searching for answers to the Unknowns of the future. The “monsters” of our past—the unresolved traumas and anxieties—are diminished because we have chosen to lean not into our own limited understanding, but into a trust that is larger than what we can currently see.

    This is the ultimate clinical insight and spiritual offering: giving up and giving in are rarely the only choices.

    Choose bigger. Choose the self you are #becoming. Faith your journey with love, practice being loving, and trust that the love you put forth will organically find its way back to you. The promise of the rainbow—the assurance of soul-level connection—is for those who faithfully show up, gifts in hand, for the ongoing, beautiful work of their own becoming.

    Intimately Worded.

    Michelle 🌿💕

  • Falling, Loss & Love

    It started snowing here last night. Snow falling is beautiful. I awake feeling healthy, well-rested. I love the light of the sun and snow. I smile; reflecting on my tasks for the day. I answer a few texts  and roll back over to snuggle, rest. I am learning to curb self-doubt, therefore, I am going for more writing opportunities. I have a writing project to edit and review. I need to blog and post/ podcast. Later it is Family time, celebrating Darius’ birthday.

    I read the news of Regina King’s son and my heartbreaks. Now, I’m just kind of stuck as a mother, as a woman…my soul is wounded for her, for our children, for humanity. We have our heroes and often we believe them to be untouchable, not perfect…different, untarnished by Life’s woes.

    Death is hitting everywhere it seems and often close to home. A friend lost his nephew last week. He told me, “I can’t stop crying.” My patients suffer with the loss of loved ones. Weekly, daily, I hear of death and I’m never comfortable with the trauma of it—be the loss kin or unknown. Grief, significant loss can plummet us and keep us stuck in so many emotional and mental ways. Learn to mourn, to grieve your way. No one gets to time stamp your grief—there’s no right way to do this. We love deep and different. The impact of our love ones hits different. Grief is complex and it will become different. Cry as much as you want or need too. Know that tears are a release, not a weakness, not of failure.

    Remember them well. Love does not cease…it carries, moves, heals us toward the unseen and unknown. Keep your Light. You’re not wrong in your love. Continue to love softly. We are all trying to figure this all out. May your days include you caring for your soul. I’m going to bake blueberry muffins, prepare some soup and love on the ones who love me. Time is short; love well.

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle 

  • “There is something there…”

    “There is something there…”

    Vulnerability: November 2021

    Prelude: I am flowing not forcing. I reflect, smile and I asked God for more writing days.

    My days, my months, this year has been divine, purposed, productive, exhausting and loving days of hallelujahs. I am living to “do no harm” to anyone and thriving in my authenticity to be my truly different unique self.

    I purchased a gym membership and I show up 2x a week at 5:00 am. I am loving it and finally seeing results after 2 months. I’m closer to entrepreneurship: professional headshots, website. My Tribe is flourishing. As an employee: I’m excelling, scheduled months out and there are bonuses that I forgot about. I witness the healing that will benefit individuals as well as generations and I am in awe of God’s purpose in my life.

    Friday, day after Thanksgiving, I show up for my second imaging mammogram. I’m nervously strong, I think. Of course I’m completely turned around due to nerves. I’m in the Breast Cancer Center not Imaging. Mentally cuss the lady that left a voicemail without an address. Now I think I’ve completed a faux pau of predicting my future. Nice lady gave me directions to the Imaging Center.. I walk, yes walk, to the other building. My day off…no coffee, full of lostness and anxiety. #Michelle #DeepSigh #EarlyMornings

    Second imaging is the worst. Painfully so.

    Her: “Breathe. Stop breathing. Move to the left. Face me. Breathe. Stop breathing. Look forward. Look out the window.” Pain. Pain. I gasp.

    Me: “Is it suppose to hurt like this?

    Her: “Breathe. Stop breathing.”

    My thoughts: “What have I done? Why am I here?”

    She sits me in a quiet area. She comes back.

    Her: “Your left breast is clear. We need to do an ultrasound on the right.” I’m still confused. Really confused but I say okay. She does the ultrasound. I realize she taking the longest time. Her: “I’ll go get the doctor.” I stop breathing. He comes in, black framed glasses and white coat. He’s real. He starts examining, searching. I don’t think I’m breathing. There’s nothing in my head. No sound. No words. He speaks: “There’s something there.”

    I disassociate. I hear him. My tears fall silently as I listen. My voice whispers, “What now Jesus?”
    She places back in the room. I cry. I cry for awhile. She places me in another room. I do not breathe as we discuss procedures. Her: “Do you have insurance?” My thoughts: ”What if I did not? What happens if you do not have insurance? Does it just remain there? Growing?”

    I’ve never had the greatest relationship with my breast. I was a 36C at 16 and my mother was a Southern Baptist Mom to her heart; everything was covered. My breasts drew attention: Middle school boys, older men…they eventually became strangers to me. The alienation continued through childbirth and breastfeeding. I did the self-exams, my annuals they were always healthy, heavy, covered (no pretty lace bras for me) …yet they defined my femininity. They are purposeful, necessary, required. They are mine.

    I ask for your healing prayers as I go in for a biopsy 12/23. Currently, I’m crying a lot. Thinking a lot. Putting their future ( my Tribe) in perspective. Trying to think…unsure of how to process any and all of this. My Tribe knows. The youngest walks away as I am telling my older two sons. I question him later. He responds: “I heard December 23rd. You’re not dying from cancer. That’s it. We’re not losing you to breast cancer.”

    My sleepless nights….strange. I feel strange. Unfamiliar. I wake up crying throughout the night. I now sleep with a security blanket…I wake up holding it. I’m 51. I feel doubtful. Hopeful. Worried. My breasts —alienated. The right one seems more dominant….it never has been…they are disproportionately different in size yet it feels the heaviest. I’m scared. Prayerful.

    Life has taught me and taught me well. I stopped believing in my fairytales a long time ago, without bitterness. Nowadays, I see how God places me in the center of my unbeliefs and strengthens me to wait and see, to heal. I am trusting Him for that yet wondering what if it is too big of an ask. Healing?

    A few months ago, I silently asked for more writing days, for more “Me” days, for the ability to take more moments to do other things I love: soft launch of private practice, creating a woman’s support group, certification as a group psychotherapist, seemingly my goals, my wants are coming to fruition….all of this I am working on. Trusting Him for those things.; the tangibles. What I know, He answers our prayers His way.

    Intimately worded,

    Michelle

    Persistent: December 2021

    #Mammograms #Breasts #MyBreasts #BlackWomenHealth #Mass #Growth #Treatment #Biopsy #Healing #BlackWomen #Therapy #SpiritualHealth

  • Christmas Ornaments: Nostalgia and All the Feels

    • Favorite Things
    • Christmas Tree 2019
    Reflections of Love: Transitions

    #AfterChristmas: This picture of my favorite Christmas ornaments contains over 25 years of awesome memories. Each one was either created by my children, gifted to me or purchased for my children to have.

    The monogram balls are for my Autumn, now 16 and for my Bru, now 13. The handmade gingerbread man created by my Darius at age 5…he is now 27 years old. The gingerbread has been broken and glued so many times. I love it the most because of its durability to withstand moves from home to home, sticky and clumsy baby fingers, its ability to hold so much with so little. The clear ball w/ the angel in the center also has been repaired and glued so many different times; its creator is my oldest, Damien, now 30 years old. The Christmas Tree painting was completed by my daughter at 11 years old. She doesn’t like it, stating its so elementary. I absolutely love it.  She has grown into a phenomenal artist. You have to check out her 2008 Snowman. You see her picture?! She was 5 years old. The heart shaped cream-colored ornament was gifted to me by my deceased Mother-in-Law. She wasn’t always the greatest to me yet each Christmas I share w/ her grandchildren her unique style for different things.

    Life has this way of not going or coming together as we planned. Each year with hanging the ornaments and decorating our home for the Holidays, I remember. I believe that 20 years of memories, of babies becoming adults, of our children adulting while we’re doing our best to adult as well brings transformation, details a life of grace. As we transition, transform, develop, build and grow…we learn how to be the repairer after we break…we learn to represent the greatest traits after brokenness. Continue to heal, continue to live so that love remains. Life has a way of undoing what we hold sacred. I’ll keep our Christmas up after the New Year comes in, its so much more than tradition. Honor what makes you You.

    This year, my #struggle deepened, and my purpose got greater. I continue to wish you love and peace. If you are a giver, make room to receive. It comes back to you, always. I pray that all your experiences this year have led you to a closer relationship with Our Creator. My hope is that you know without any shadow of doubt that you are loved and with His love you can conquer and soar…He equips is to do great things. December 31 symbolizes more of our wants…not the ending. Grow, heal, love, #forgive, plan, accomplish. Do your work. Do what is required of you. Believe in better. Happy New Year! Continued blessings and miracles to you and yours. #MakeRoom #GraceForMore

    Intimately Worded, 

    Michelle 

  • Attention: What Sustains?

    I am currently on vacation. I purposely took a week off from work and planned a 5 day stay at the Beach. My two teens are with me and as teenish as they are, I am often left alone. The Ocean wore them out and I find myself drawn to check my phone and emails—wanting someone to want me, need me. I have never had a problem being alone. I prefer it…I prefer quiet. My levels of growth and healed segments of my life are increased and reveled in when I am alone. Yet, last night as all was quiet except the therapeutic roaring of the ocean, I was unable to write, unable to read. I surmised that it has only been 24 hours in which the phone did not have my attention. In all honesty, I worked yesterday, remotely. So, in not writing, nor reading I am focusing on the best way to help all patients… I am strategically casing while on vacation. Seriously.

    An Undeniable Bond #myBrutus and #PrincessMonster
    An Undeniable Bond
    #myTeens

    Okay, let’s talk: Attention, what does it mean to you and why has it become a phenome to accept deeper connections through social media and not human contact? We text more than we call. We scroll more than we touch. We deviate more than we plan and grow. I sit here and I people watch…rarely does anyone make direct eye contact. One female is walking for exercise while on her phone. A model is having her pics taken by a photographer…I digress. My plan for vacationing was to write, to read and to relax. I was only able to do that for a full 24 hours before my attention was diverted to everything but my personal goals.

    I think with each phase of life our desire for attention levels out and begins differently. I ask not to be self-critical nor to minimize the affect how Life and why God has impacted my journey just so. I analyze, I overthink, I reflect…I ponder, as I become this great individual that I’ve pursued for the longest time.

    • What type of attention are you seeking?
    • What parts of you need that type of validation and why?
    • Why aren’t you able to write, Writer?
    • What are those fears that keep you searching?

    I think my own diversion to attention seeking is due to my having to work all the time for any and everything I’ve wanted. I’ve been placed in Life-Roles when I had no clue, no voice in how things should be, yet I continue to do right by those that are in my life. I know that the way my life is set up I am required to go, do and be. Rarely, am I given the opportunity to focus on myself…to breathe –to understand where I am. At times, restoration is scary, fearful and quite intimidating. I love how my phase is unfolding as I am writing this…. God does exactly what He wants for His love is greater for us than any plans we’ve wished and prayed for. He never stops listening. Cosmically, this is the calmest the Ocean has been since we arrived.

    “Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.” ~Doe Zantamata

    Therapeutic Reflections
    #NoObstacles

    I encourage you to re-evaluate your actions and analyze your why…soon the reveal or revelation you seek will hit you in the most deserving way possible…your needs not theirs. Keep with what sustains you…even if it seems to have blurred. I am a therapist’s therapist and an awesome mother. I believe the remainder will fall into place; its impossible to thrive in lack.

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

    ©

  • siSTARS on Motherhood

    siSTARS on Motherhood

    A new platform! I am so excited about this collaboration. I wanted my intro to this Trio– I am a part of to be grander and greater. Yet, I cannot think of gifting you our #Us in such a phenomenol way. Take time to watch the video….we are authentic and so raw in our love. Totally unbiased. I think it is a very powerful introduction to my SiStars and a great way to reflect and be encouraged this Mother’s Day weekend. Also follow Doc @kwoted.wordpress.com and Lady G @seekthebestblog.com.

  • Embracing the Future

    Throughout my social media outlets and the way I choose to live my life—I would be remiss to not acknowledge the difficulty of transitions.  I have encouraged and will continue to encourage the process of transitioning …at this moment I feel as if I am tirelessly transitioning and it seems in the most difficult yet aimless way. It hurts. It is lonely and it is tiring. I know that my emotions are temporary. I’ve’ been holding it together for so long and all alone that at this point in my life I feel as if throughout the years that all my working is culminating in me grasping at pieces.

    Transitioning is a journey that is quite intrusive at times.  So many different phases to it yet it is purposely unequivocally predestined and purposed. Reflecting, I know that the choices we make ultimately are a reflective of  our wants, wishes, dreams and hopes. How those choices play out are God’s options and opportunities of freewill resulting in continuance and evolutionary progress. #selfacceptance

    I do not speak much about being a single mother not from shame or out of the need of setting an example. I believe I do not because it is the biggest part of me and the status of motherhood is my most honorable to date. I attended my graduation a few weeks ago— sorry for the delay in posting. #transitions

     

     

    I believe the photos speak volumes of the love of my family, what my tribe exhibits. Achieving my degrees while raising four of the greatest individuals is one of my greatest accomplishments. They are so proud of me and I am so mom-appreciative of them. The two oldest ones are becoming great men—other than my father—the greatest I’ll ever love. My daughter, my one and only is by far the gentlest and genius warrior of her generation. My youngest, my Brutus is all of them in one body.  Wow! I have a Masters in the professional field of my purpose. My mornings and days are different. I have been “working” for so long at times I am quite disturbed my all this time I have to be, to do, to grow, to bond and to love without deadlines…it is simply amazing. #Counseling #Therapy #mytribe

    When it turns cold and rainy and your way is unseeable…learn to enjoy those moments your best possible way—it is your challenge to grow—in strength, in self-examination, in self-awareness. God brings us exactly what we need whether we realize it or not. Do not worry if what you see ahead does not quite add up. Go to your heart, act and react accordingly. Listen. Sometimes within there, in your heart place, sits a request for a deliberate inaction.

    “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:8-9

    “Trust and act on the guidance you have now, and more will come.” Melody Beattie

     Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

  • Chapter 47 #birthdayblog the beginning…

    Selfie_August 2017

    I am not forsaking the last 46 years, I am blessed. I am humbled and ever so confident in God. His works are undeniable. This past week I attended a beautiful wedding where African Attire was required. We are a beautiful people. I attended the funeral of a great friend…her mother was –is her world. I wear my pearls in honor of her memory and my mother’s as well. Our mothers’ are the salt of the earth…they make us you know…they make us in spite of their dreams, in spite of the things they want for themselves. How amazing is the role of mother. In addition, with some dread…I am being matched to date….it has been five years since I have been on a date. What a birthday week!!  I love new experiences and value the past ones. Year 47 will be exceptional!

    My life thoughts:

    1. God works within our prayers to show His purposes for our lives.
    2. Others’ happiness can flow over to us but it is up to us to pick up the pieces they leave us.
    3. I am learning that life is grand only if you live it!
    4. Support the ones who support your dreams …without a price.
    5. Our world is relevant to what we do. What we put out returns back to us.
    6. I love being a mother it is far more rewarding than we believe, even with all the sacrifices and …I am good at it.
    7. Damien!
    8. Darius!
    9. Autumn!
    10. Bryant Wade aka Brutus!
    11. Love in spite of how we define it… it wins on its on merit.
    12. Friendships are fundamentals it indicates how we care for one another.
    13. Spirituality although renowned  is one of the most evolutionary, specific and rare experiences that will last forever.
    14. Do not always be aggressive learn to wait in hope.
    15. There is work in the wait.
    16. Connections make you vulnerable yet the real ones last a lifetime. Keep them.
    17. Love more than you hate.
    18. Although forgiveness is a process, forgive anyway. We are unable to stop the hurt. Reflect. Forgive. Move forward in love.
    19. I am okay.
    20. I am worthy of the good.
    21. Your intelligence is an asset…grow it. Share it. Use it.
    22. Hate cripples.
    23. Self-loathing destroys what God has created.
    24. Growth requires new experiences.
    25. Guarding your heart comes with responsibilities, listening and obeying. Do not guard it with barbwire.
    26. Family is the core of our existence. Love them.
    27. Racism is real. God is bigger.
    28. Our biggest fight is to love who we are.
    29. Our greatest fear is not being loved for whom we truly are…we fight to hide and hide to fight.
    30. Self-care is paramount.
    31. Sleep is wonderful, it is when God is doing so much for us and through us. Learn to rest well.
    32. God loves whom He creates. He cannot not love.
    33. Psychology and counseling is what I am great at doing. It is a gift and though heart wrenching I am committed.
    34. Giving birth is life changing; forever.
    35. When the ones we love walk out, it hurts but it is the beginning of so much more. Work through it.
    36. Encourage others; it matters. Fellowship is key to relationships.
    37. You are greater than anything that comes your way. God in all His infinite wisdom ordained it so.
    38. Comparison is the thief of joy.
    39. We indeed reap what we sow. Sow with love.
    40. Love is simple, respectful and honorable. There is not any gray matter.
    41. Do not human up what is spiritually required of you. Freewill is God given. Jesus paid the price, once. He does not have to repeat it.
    42. Adoption is unrequited love. Do not human it up.
    43. Our gifts are our freedom. Develop it. Follow through with it.
    44. Dreams come true with hard work and trust.
    45. Do the necessary #work.
    46. Safety is not a guarantee…it should be with the ones who profess their love for you.

    Chapter 47 …new one. I am determined to live life loving better, living wonderfully and assisting in the greater good wherever and whenever I can! ©

    P.S. I am excitedly afraid of the possibility of dating. A big sister type of friend says, “Not dating Oh not we cannot have that.” She has been on a mission since Wednesday. #mylife

    Intimately worded,

    Michelle

  • Singleness Relationships His plans

    Confident

    Human Nature is God created and is the simplest most complex form of co-existing. It seems that relationships are now this big hoo-haw of rules…you have to be, what you should do, do not do that, and then they add in the biblical characters of Boaz, Ruth, then the terms submissiveness, wait and pursue. It kills me, completely. I am not writing to give advice and suggest anything. Just read this with an open-mind and open-heart.

    I want to remind you that finding what you want, being single, while-in-wait is not complicated. It truly will take that one day, the one moment (and you may not ever describe it as perfect but it will be for that moment) that one conversation, that one hello, that one smell of his cologne, his swag,  that one act of chivalry and it happens. There really is no rhyme or reason to it. Even the unexpected friendship that blossoms is a part of it all.

    Stop allowing what “experts” give, sell to you about your life because this is your life, your choice. Honestly, he/she cannot tell you how to be now in order to be dating if they have no clue of the trials you went through or the fiery acts of faith you believed in your past. People change. Mindsets become new. Our environments change. How I am, is due to the things God has allowed in my life and they are blessings. As a single parent of three African American males (two are adult men) and one daughter I have no room in my life to be passive, submissive nor non-intimidating. It just will not work. Yet, I know enough from my Mom, my Daddy, my brothers, my family, those aunts on how to be loving towards a man who holds my interest.

    I have become, am becoming this person, this woman, this loving female not because of my past but in spite of; in spite of all I endured, endure —-because of my relationship with God. There is no doubt in my mind that my intimacy with God has grown me into a woman who is too forward, too passive, too gullible and above all ignorant. He just would not allow it. I am imperfect, perfectly so.  I smile from my soul for who I am. Our walk with Him is personal, it is about growth, it is about healing, and it is about GROWTH! Growth and stagnation does not mesh. God is so much greater. We have to realize that people choose to love or runaway, they choose it. Let them. Their choice does not make you or I less than. The only person that can impede God’s will for your life is you. {Jeremiah 29:11}

    The heavy part of love requires all of you, each of you. Know and believe in your definition of love and you will find the partner that will enhance your definition or have you rewrite your definition with his or her edits. Just proofread first! Be in ready mode. Your heart is bigger than what if. God’s will is grander please believe that.

    I pray God’s grace in whomever you choose to love….and I am so proud of you for where you are today. You have come through so much. Keep your You! It works specifically for all you are connected to.

    Intimately written,

    Michelle