loss – Intimately Worded with Michelle

Sundays, Early Mornings & Friendship Loss

There’s something sacred about early Sundays — before the world fully wakes. It’s where truth sits quietly, waiting to be named.

I know the world is on fire—

yet what continues to amaze me is how these global flames mirror our internal ones.

The ache, the quiet unraveling, the loss that comes not only from tragedy but from truth.

Humanity feels lost.

Personal and political beliefs now hold the power to alter the direction of our lives, our connections, even our sense of belonging.

Recently, I severed a long-term friendship—

one built on love, laughter, and shared seasons.

It wasn’t over something petty or misunderstood.

It was because of politics.

Not politics as in policy, but politics as in morality.

People often underestimate the depth of their words or the weight they carry.

What I’ve learned is this:

if an apology begins with “I’m not racist” but ends with unwavering support for those who harm and divide—then it isn’t an apology at all.

It’s an attempt to seek comfort in the very space where harm was done.

And I’ve decided I don’t have to comfort you through the ending of our friendship.

My heart is fragile, still healing, still learning.

But I am also living—intentionally, fully, and with boundaries rooted in love for myself.

I love deeply, in both length and width.

But I will not prove that love by tolerating hate, bullying, or dismissiveness disguised as “difference of opinion.”

“Some endings are not betrayals of love — they are affirmations of self.”

Sometimes I chuckle, not out of humor, but out of disbelief—

because people truly forget how long we have been Black and hated.

How long we’ve known the weight of racism—not as theory, but as lived experience.

I have felt its ugly claws, tasted its unyielding rage, and recognized how ignorance allows it to thrive.

And still, on early Sunday mornings, I rise.

I pray.

I breathe.

I choose peace over pretense.

Friendship loss hurts, especially when love still lingers in memory.

But truth has a frequency that can’t be silenced, even for comfort’s sake.

Reflection for the Soul

This Sunday, take a moment to sit with the quiet after loss.

Friendship, even when it ends, leaves imprints of who we were — and who we are becoming.

Ask yourself: What does peace require of me now?

Not the kind that avoids pain, but the kind that honors it, transforms it, and releases what no longer loves you back.

May you find grace in your boundaries, rest in your truth,

and gentleness in the parts of your heart still learning how to heal.

Intimately worded,

Michelle 🌿

October 12, 2025

After the Session

Written by: Michelle Tillman, LCMHC

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

Working as a therapist, we are privy to hearing life stories, an individual’s experiences. We listen to their pain and their victories, the simple, small, and big things. Self-love, self-care, and wellness are synonymous with great health, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Lately, I am noticing a trend: we no longer know how to be in a healthy relationship nor do we know what one looks like. Across all societal norms and other corporate platforms, we are demanded to forgive (without processing) and negatively “coached”, argued with, and hurtfully told we are wrong for wanting more. Social media, reality shows, and life challenges normalize dysfunction; we learn to accept pain as a reward, we measure love by difficulty and hardship.

We tend to move into relationships out of loss and/or a specific want, losing sight of what we need. A client once shared with me: “I do not want to date out of circumstance. Does that make me selfish?” I responded that it was one of the most powerful statements I have heard in a while: “I do not want to date out of circumstance.” What a refreshing thought process, one that requires strength, recovery, self-discipline, and confidence.

Relationships have become unhinged at the cost of “influence” and social popularity. Toxicity and narcissism have become synonymous with band-aid quotes and placating sentiments: “Go to therapy.” Yet, there is not any evidence of real change. We recycle patterns and repeat our past with someone new. Rarely does anyone commit to the hard work. We unknowingly agree to be in relationships without ever understanding the difficulty in creating new patterns and different thought processes nor the impact of trauma.

I encourage you to recognize and learn red flags. Understand that red flags signify that this does not feel good, that this person is not for you and that “fixing” others is never a winning concept. We cannot “fix” people. Below are a few tips when seeking healthy relationships:

Stay present and connected to your personal values.
Do not date out of circumstance. Self-validation and self-prioritization are key.
Know that any relationship is destructive when it decreases your quality of life.
When a partner disrupts relationship with your immediate family life, demanding you cut off direct communication: RED FLAG!
There are several Thinking Traps that can get in the way of creating a healthy relationship: concealing, impediments, emotional responsibility, mind-reading trap, the truth trap and the victim trap.

“It is okay to feel sad after making the right decision.”

Remember you are wanting a healthy relationship that is good for you, that nurtures you, your growth, your life. Truly, settling for a “trending” companionship should never be an optimal option. I believe there are so many other consequences when we settle. I encourage you to trust your journey, honor your pathway and love with purposeful intention for every aspect of your life.

Intimately, my prayer for you is to be healthy, loving and free—your way without harm and without selfishness. Continue to do your work, your soul work.

Intimately Worded,

Michelle

_{Disclaimer: The post provides valuable insights on healthy relationships and the impact of societal influences. The language and tone are engaging, making the content relatable. It effectively encourages self-reflection and awareness, offering practical tips for fostering healthy relationships. Overall, the post offers meaningful advice for maintaining healthy relationships amidst societal pressures.}

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May 6, 2024

Falling, Loss & Love

It started snowing here last night. Snow falling is beautiful. I awake feeling healthy, well-rested. I love the light of the sun and snow. I smile; reflecting on my tasks for the day. I answer a few texts and roll back over to snuggle, rest. I am learning to curb self-doubt, therefore, I am going for more writing opportunities. I have a writing project to edit and review. I need to blog and post/ podcast. Later it is Family time, celebrating Darius’ birthday.

I read the news of Regina King’s son and my heartbreaks. Now, I’m just kind of stuck as a mother, as a woman…my soul is wounded for her, for our children, for humanity. We have our heroes and often we believe them to be untouchable, not perfect…different, untarnished by Life’s woes.

Death is hitting everywhere it seems and often close to home. A friend lost his nephew last week. He told me, “I can’t stop crying.” My patients suffer with the loss of loved ones. Weekly, daily, I hear of death and I’m never comfortable with the trauma of it—be the loss kin or unknown. Grief, significant loss can plummet us and keep us stuck in so many emotional and mental ways. Learn to mourn, to grieve your way. No one gets to time stamp your grief—there’s no right way to do this. We love deep and different. The impact of our love ones hits different. Grief is complex and it will become different. Cry as much as you want or need too. Know that tears are a release, not a weakness, not of failure.

Remember them well. Love does not cease…it carries, moves, heals us toward the unseen and unknown. Keep your Light. You’re not wrong in your love. Continue to love softly. We are all trying to figure this all out. May your days include you caring for your soul. I’m going to bake blueberry muffins, prepare some soup and love on the ones who love me. Time is short; love well.