Intimately Worded with Michelle

Tag: Faith

  • Choosing Me, Still

    Choosing Me, Still

    the Fifty years—Lovingly

     I finished Harlem this weekend, and I liked the series more than I realized I did.

    There were definitely things that annoyed me. The hairstyles, for one. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    Our hair requires entirely too much time, money, manipulation and maintenance for these women to walk into one scene with waist-length braids and the next with a silk press, and then somehow have another completely different hairstyle before dinner. Ma’am. Who is paying for all of this?

    And some of their dating decisions had me talking to the television. Out loud.

    I mean, giving up tenure at Columbia to write your first novel? Why not do both? I understand choosing yourself, but must choosing yourself always require burning down the entire house?

    Still, somewhere across those three seasons, I realized what I loved most about Harlem.

    The women kept choosing themselves.

    Not perfectly. Not always wisely. Not without consequences. But they kept returning to themselves.

    And perhaps that is why the series stayed with me.

    This week, much of my clinical work sat in the complicated territory of relationships—people trying desperately to stay together, people trying to figure out how to leave, people grieving what they thought their relationship would be, and people trying to love each other when love had become painful.

    Heartbreak has many faces.

    So does love.

    There are moments when both seem to bring out the very best in us, and moments when they expose every tender, wounded, human part of us.

    I sat with all of that this Sunday and realized how grateful I am that my current personal struggle is rather simple:

    I want to love and be loved well.

    I want a healthy, loving relationship.

    I want partnership.

    And right now, there isn’t anyone on the horizon.

    Honestly, that is a pretty privileged problem to have.

    Because I have known hard.

    I think about graduate school—the long hours, working full-time, single parenting, trying to become something while still being responsible for everything and everyone who needed me. That season stretched me in ways I didn’t always know I could be stretched.

    And now, almost ten years into this profession, there are still long hours.

    There is still work to do.

    There is still building, growing, becoming more marketable, figuring out the next thing, questioning whether I’m doing enough and wondering what all of this is supposed to look like when I finally get there.

    Maybe adulthood is simply realizing there is no final “there.”

    We keep becoming.

    We build careers. We raise children. We survive marriages and divorces. We go back to school. We start businesses. We reinvent ourselves. We heal. We learn boundaries. We learn ourselves.

    And then, sometimes, we sit quietly on a Sunday and realize there is one area of our lives where our usual strategy doesn’t quite work.

    Love cannot be completed like a degree.

    It can’t be built by checking every box.

    It can’t be forced by working harder.

    And it certainly can’t be scheduled into existence.

    Maybe that is why choosing myself matters so much.

    Not as a consolation prize because love hasn’t arrived.

    Not as some declaration that I don’t need anyone.

    I do.

    I want companionship. I want tenderness. I want someone to check in because they thought about me. I want laughter in the kitchen and conversation at the end of a long day. I want the kind of relationship where two people can be fully themselves and still choose each other.

    But while I wait for that, I don’t want to abandon the woman who is already here.

    The woman who worked through graduate school.

    The woman who raised children.

    The woman who built a career.

    The woman who is still building.

    The woman who has walked through heartbreak and kept her heart.

    Maybe that is the real lesson I took from Harlem.

    Choosing yourself isn’t always about making a dramatic exit or starting over.

    Sometimes it is much quieter.

    Sometimes choosing yourself is simply refusing to leave yourself behind while you wait for the next chapter.

    And maybe, for now, that’s enough.

    I’m still choosing me.

    And I’m still leaving room for love.

    Intimately being brave,

    Michelle 💕

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • A Faith that Stays Present

    Early Mornings

    There are weeks when my work requires me to sit with people in places that are difficult to describe.

    Trauma. Grief. Relationships that have been bruised by years of disappointment. People trying to find their way back to themselves.

    I love my work. Deeply.

    But loving the work doesn’t mean it doesn’t take something out of me.

    So after a particularly tough, trauma-filled week, I have a little ritual I have come to appreciate: I wash my brain.

    I put on one of my favorite animated movies.

    Shrek.
    The Incredibles.
    Guardians of the Galaxy somehow made its way into the rotation too.

    And there is something about sitting there, knowing exactly what is going to happen, laughing at the same parts, letting my brain follow somebody else’s story for a couple of hours that does my heart well.

    It isn’t sophisticated.

    It isn’t particularly productive.

    And it isn’t therapy.

    It is rest.

    Maybe even a little brainwashing—in the best possible way.

    And then there are Sundays.

    Today, I went to church. I spent time with my children. We had brunch after church. I talked to my eldest in Virginia, who has apparently decided that his beard had run its course and shaved it off.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I remembered that he is expecting his first baby in November.

    His first baby.

    My baby is having a baby.

    Life has a way of sneaking up on you like that.

    One minute you’re worrying about bills, work, clients, deadlines, the things you haven’t finished, the things you’re trying to build, the things you’re trying to release.

    And then somebody you gave life to is standing on the other side of the phone telling you that he’s preparing to become a father.

    And suddenly the things you were worrying about aren’t gone—but they’re no longer the only things occupying the room.

    Life is touching my heart in the greatest of ways.

    I’ve been thinking about that lately.

    About how easy it is to move from one week into the next without actually arriving.

    Sunday becomes Monday.

    Monday becomes Tuesday.

    Another session. Another note. Another email. Another responsibility. Another thing to figure out.

    And somewhere along the way, we can become so focused on surviving the next thing that we forget to notice what is already beautiful.

    But today felt serendipitous.

    Not because everything is perfect.

    Because everything isn’t.

    But because I was present enough to notice the good.

    The brunch.

    Church.

    My children.

    A shaved beard.

    A baby coming in November.

    A familiar movie waiting for me when the week gets heavy.

    These are not small things.

    Maybe they are the big things.

    And this has me thinking about faith.

    I’ve heard faith described as a shelter—something we run into when life becomes too much. And I believe there is absolutely a place for that kind of faith.

    Sometimes I need God to cover me.

    Sometimes I need somewhere to put the things I cannot carry.

    Sometimes I need to know that even when I don’t understand what is happening, I am not alone in it.

    But lately, I think I have a saving faith more than a sheltering faith.

    Not saving in the sense of expecting God to rescue me from every uncomfortable circumstance.

    Something deeper.

    A faith that saves me enough to stay.

    Stay present. Stay open. Stay hopeful.

    Stay soft. Stay connected to the people I love.

    Stay willing to believe that there can still be beauty after hard seasons.

    Sheltering faith gives me a place to hide when the storm comes.

    Saving faith, for me, feels like the kind that reminds me that I can eventually step back outside.

    It doesn’t promise me a life without trauma, disappointment, uncertainty or grief.

    It reminds me that those things don’t get to have the final word.

    Maybe that’s why my little rituals matter.

    Watching Shrek isn’t just watching Shrek.

    Going to church isn’t just going to church.

    Brunch with my children isn’t just brunch.

    Calling my eldest isn’t just a phone call.

    These moments become tiny declarations:

    I am here. I am alive. I am still becoming.

    There is still something to laugh about.

    There is still something to look forward to.

    There is still something being born.

    Literally.

    And maybe this is what I am learning as I enter another Monday:

    I don’t want to rush past my life on the way to the next thing.

    I want to notice the wins.

    I want to celebrate what is growing.

    I want to allow ordinary moments to touch my heart.

    I want to work hard without making work my whole life.

    I want to care deeply without carrying everything.

    I want to rest without feeling guilty about it.

    And I want a faith that doesn’t only shelter me from the world.

    I want a faith that helps me remain present enough to live in it.

    Because there will always be another Monday.

    Another hard week.

    Another client story.

    Another problem to solve.

    Another thing that needs my attention.

    But there will also be Sundays.

    There will be brunches.

    There will be children becoming adults.

    There will be beards shaved off for reasons I may never understand.

    There will be babies coming.

    There will be movies that make me laugh when my brain needs a break.

    There will be moments when life touches my heart in the greatest of ways.

    And I don’t want to miss them.

    So tonight, I’m grateful.

    Not because life has become easy.

    Because I’ve become more willing to notice that it is also beautiful.

    Being brave,

    Michelle 🌿

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • SuperSoul Sunday: Where My Heart Learned to Heal

    I am sitting with the day.

    It has been a SuperSoul Sunday.

    Church was beautiful today. Worship was high, the kind of worship that doesn’t just sound good but reaches somewhere inside of you and reminds you: You’re still here. You’re still held. Keep going.

    And then there was the park.

    I have been going there since my children were babies. My youngest is 19 now, which means this place has been part of our family story for nearly two decades.

    But somewhere along the way, it became more than a park.

    It became one of the first places where my heart learned how to heal.

    I walked there. I ran there.

    There were seasons when I didn’t know what was next. I remember losing my job (corporate thug life) and going there to walk and run—to move my body when my mind didn’t know what to do with itself.

    I ate lunch there by myself, sitting at a picnic table. Sometimes solitude was not something I had chosen. Sometimes it was simply where I was.

    And somehow, Jesus met me there.

    Every time.

    Not necessarily with an answer.

    Not always with some grand revelation.

    Sometimes just enough peace to make it through the afternoon. Sometimes enough room to breathe. Sometimes enough quiet to hear myself again.

    That is what makes a place sacred to me.

    Not the building. Not the landscaping.

    Not whether anyone else would understand why it matters.

    It is what happened there. It is who I became there. It is where I encountered God there.

    Over the last ten years or so, the area has become increasingly crowded. Neighborhoods have grown. A school is nearby. There are more people, more activity, more life.

    And for a while, I stopped going.

    There was even a guy who kept talking to me every time I went. He wasn’t scary. Just irritating.

    Sometimes we leave places for reasons that aren’t nearly as profound as the reasons we once needed them. I found other sacred spaces.

    Places where I could breathe. Places where I could pray. Places where I could be alone with my thoughts and with God.

    But that park remained my first.

    Today, on a Sunday, I went back.

    Bru had invited one of his best friends to church. Autumn was off. It was great attending as a Family. The boys decided to walk the trails together.

    I chose not to walk with them.

    I took my own path around the park.

    And then I saw them.

    Three deer. 🦌🦌🦌

    Walking. Pausing. Looking at me.

    I stood there in complete awe.

    My camerawoman skills are not it. 🤦🏽‍♀️

    I have been coming to this place since my babies were babies, and I have never seen deer there.

    Not once. And today, there they were. Three.

    I don’t know if God sent the deer to give me a message. I don’t need to make them into something they may not be.

    But I know what it felt like to stand there.

    It felt like being reminded to pay attention.

    To notice. To stay present. To slow down enough to see what had always been possible but had somehow remained unseen.

    I thought to run, walk past or turn around. I heard, “wait.”

    Maybe that’s what healing does.

    It doesn’t always take us somewhere completely new. Sometimes it brings us back to an old place with new eyes.

    The same trees. The same trails. The same picnic tables. But a different woman walking through them.

    I have changed. A lot.

    The woman who once ran those trails after losing her job is not the woman standing there today.

    The mother pushing through the seasons of raising babies is not the woman watching her 19-year-old son walk trails with one of his best friends.

    The woman who needed that park to survive a season is now able to return simply to receive the beauty of it.

    That feels significant.

    And maybe this is what I am learning about sacred spaces:

    They don’t have to remain untouched to remain sacred. They can become crowded. We can leave them. We can find other places. Life can change around them.

    And still, when we return, something in us remembers.

    I think that’s true of people, too.

    There are places we once needed desperately that we no longer need in the same way. There are relationships that held us for a season but aren’t meant to hold us forever. There are versions of ourselves that did the best they could with what they knew.

    And there are places—physical and spiritual—that become part of the architecture of our healing.

    That park is one of mine.

    It is one of the first places my heart learned that being alone did not necessarily mean being abandoned. That movement could become prayer. That lunch at a picnic table could become communion.

    That tears could fall beneath a sky and somehow you could still leave lighter. That Jesus could meet me outside of a church building.

    Actually, maybe that’s one of the reasons I love sacred spaces so much.

    Because Jesus has never seemed particularly concerned about staying inside the places we expect Him to be.

    He meets me on trails. At picnic tables. In quiet mornings. In difficult seasons. In unexpected conversations. In our emptiness.

    And apparently…

    sometimes in the middle of a park with three deer staring at me. There was another little reminder today, too.

    I had been thinking about taking a break from the dating app. The fatigue was beginning to creep in—the endless conversations, the sorting, the wondering, the discernment.

    And then this morning, I matched with a man with a beautiful smile and really good conversation.

    And then came the complication.

    He is legally married, though separated for three years. They aren’t trying to reconcile. We both respected each other’s position, and we agreed not to continue.

    Could there have been something there?

    Perhaps.

    But I am learning that possibility is not the same thing as permission. Something can feel good and still not be for me. Something can have potential and still require a boundary. And something can end before it begins without being a failure.

    Maybe that’s another kind of healing.

    Being able to say, “I see the possibility. And I also see the boundary.”

    No bitterness. No drama. No chasing. Just discernment.

    At 5:28 PM, I am thinking about all of this.

    About the woman I was. About the woman I am.

    About the places that have held me.

    About the places I have outgrown.

    About the places I may return to.

    About the sacred spaces I haven’t found yet.

    And about the strange, beautiful truth that sometimes we don’t realize a place was helping us heal until years later.

    I thought I was just walking.

    I thought I was just getting some air.

    I thought I was just eating lunch alone.

    I thought I was just trying to survive losing a job.

    But maybe Jesus was teaching my heart something. Maybe He was showing me that solitude could be holy. That movement could be medicine for the soul. That I could sit alone and still be accompanied. That I could lose something and still find myself. That I could leave and return.

    That I could become someone new without abandoning the woman who came before me.

    And today, after all these years, I walked through that sacred space again.

    And three deer stopped to look at me.

    Maybe they were simply deer. Maybe that’s all they needed to be. But I stopped, too.

    And for a moment, we just looked at each other.

    And I smiled.

    Because sometimes healing isn’t a dramatic revelation. Sometimes healing is simply realizing:

    I am still here. God is still here. And there is still beauty I haven’t seen yet.

    SuperSoul Sunday: Lean into your miracles.

    Have courage,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Sacred Spaces

    Making Room for What’s Next

    Blackberries, Summer, Better.

    I didn’t do anything I planned to do today.

    There. I said it.

    I had plans. Things I wanted to accomplish. Things I thought I should get done before Sunday ended. Instead, I did some notes. I went to church. I took my daughter to the mall. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I took a Sunday nap. A good one.

    And when I woke up, I realized something: today was gentle.

    Nothing was wrong. Nothing was behind. Nothing needed to be rescued. It was simply a gentle day.

    And perhaps I needed one.

    I have been thinking a lot about the things I’m releasing lately. The commitments that no longer feel aligned. The expectations I’ve outgrown. The things I once thought I needed to carry simply because I had been carrying them for so long.

    There is something strange about releasing things that aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes a thing doesn’t have to hurt you for you to let it go. Sometimes it has simply completed its assignment.

    A season ends. A responsibility runs its course. A relationship reveals what it was meant to reveal. A dream changes shape. A version of you that worked beautifully in one season no longer fits the woman you’re becoming in the next.

    And I am learning not to argue with that.

    I’m learning that making room for what’s next isn’t always about adding something new. Sometimes it begins with clearing the room.

    I’ve been doing a lot of “all the things” lately. Work. Writing. Building. Creating. Planning. Recording. Dreaming. Making decisions. Reconsidering decisions. Imagining what my life can look like from here.

    There is excitement in it. But there is also a responsibility that comes with creating a new space: I have to decide what gets to come with me.

    Everything cannot.

    Everyone cannot.

    Every commitment cannot.

    Every old expectation cannot.

    And perhaps most importantly, every version of me cannot.

    Some things belong to the woman I was. Some belong to the woman I am. And some things are making their way toward the woman I am becoming.

    I don’t want to rush that woman.

    I don’t want to fill every empty space simply because an empty space makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to mistake stillness for stagnation. Or rest for laziness. Or a pause for failure.

    Today reminded me of that.

    I had things to do. Instead, I had church. I had my daughter. I had an ordinary afternoon. I had a nap. I had a gentle Sunday.

    And maybe that was enough.

    Maybe there are seasons when the most productive thing we can do is stop trying so hard to produce. Maybe sometimes God is doing some of His deepest work in the spaces where we aren’t doing anything at all.

    So tonight, I’m thinking less about what I didn’t accomplish and more about what I’m making room for.

    More peace. More intention. More creativity. More meaningful relationships. More rest. More space to hear myself think. More courage to say no without writing an entire dissertation about why. More willingness to let something end without needing to turn the ending into a tragedy. More trust that I don’t have to know exactly what’s coming to make room for it.

    I think that’s where I am.

    Not starting over. Not reinventing myself. Just clearing some space.

    Releasing what has run its course. Being honest about what no longer belongs. And becoming increasingly protective of the space I’m creating.

    Because I have a feeling something beautiful is going to need room.

    And this time, I don’t want to be so busy filling the space that I miss what is trying to enter it.

    So tonight, I am not disappointed about the things I didn’t get done. (Even forgetting to publish.)

    I’m grateful for the gentle day.

    Maybe it wasn’t a detour from what I needed.

    Maybe it was what I needed.

    And maybe making room for what’s next begins exactly here: with allowing today to be enough.

    Being brave, M.

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Easy Like Sunday Morning

    We had plans for Sunday—church, a family movie, and a little time together before everyone scattered back into their own corners of life. The plan was simple, but it didn’t unfold the way we expected. We purchased our tickets to see The Odyssey, only to discover that the theater was full. Apparently, the rest of the world had the same idea.

    Sundays, Sunflowers, Solace.

    For a moment, I felt frustrated. We had made the effort, gotten ourselves together, and followed through on what we thought the day would be. But maybe there was something worth noticing in a theater full of people. Maybe we are all tired. Maybe we are all looking for somewhere to place our attention for a couple of hours that isn’t the news, the bills, the uncertainty, the grief, the division, or the weight of responsibilities we cannot control. It is hard out here. People are weary. And sometimes we just want to sit in the dark and let someone else’s story hold us for a while.

    So instead of fighting the interruption, we went home—and somehow, home became the better plan.

    We had a family Bible study on Job chapters 2 and 3, and it turned into a deeper conversation than I expected. It was the kind of moment where Scripture stops being something you simply read and becomes something you wrestle with together. We talked about adversity, about suffering that doesn’t always come with explanation, and about the temptation to assign meaning too quickly when someone is hurting. We sat with Job in the ashes, grieving what had been lost, and we talked about God—not the neat, packaged version that gives us answers for everything, but the God who remains present even when there are no easy answers.

    I found myself thinking about how often we try to escape discomfort. We scroll, we shop, we work, we watch television, we make plans, we fill our calendars, we stay busy. Some of it is healthy and necessary, but some of it is simply our way of saying, “Please, Lord, let me think about something else for a minute.” And I understand that impulse. But Sunday reminded me that sometimes interruption is an invitation—not necessarily to suffer more, and not to become overly spiritual about disappointment, but simply to be present.

    Because perhaps a softer life is not a life without disappointment; it is a life where disappointment doesn’t get the final word. That feels important to remember. A soft life does not mean everything goes according to plan. It does not mean the theater is always open, or that people will not disappoint us, or that life will not shift unexpectedly. Softness is not the absence of hard things. Maybe softness is what allows us to experience hard things without letting them consume everything else.

    We can be frustrated and still grateful, disappointed and still hopeful, tired and still tender. We can acknowledge that something didn’t go the way we wanted without deciding that the entire day—or our entire life—is ruined. There is freedom in that.

    The movie didn’t happen, but the family time did. And maybe that was the story we were meant to live that day. There is something sacred about allowing a day to become something different than what we planned without declaring it a loss. Maybe that is part of a softer life too—not a life without frustration or disappointment, but a life where disappointment does not get the final word.

    We came home, opened Job, talked, laughed a little, and wrestled with hard questions. For a few hours, we weren’t trying to fix the world; we were simply sitting together in it. Easy like Sunday morning—not because everything was easy, but because peace sometimes arrives when we stop insisting that the day go according to plan.

    Maybe God was not in the movie we missed. Maybe He was in the living room, in the conversation, in the willingness to stay. And maybe when life quietly closes a door, we don’t always need to immediately figure out why. Sometimes we can simply go home, be together, open the Word, and see what God might say there.

    Perhaps this is part of learning to live softly: not expecting life to always be gentle, but trusting that we do not have to become hard just because life is not. We can let disappointment be real without letting it become the story. We can loosen our grip on the plan and make room for what is actually happening.

    Because sometimes the blessing is not in getting what we planned. Sometimes it is discovering that what we received was enough. And sometimes Sunday morning feels easy not because life is easier, but because for a little while, we remember where to place our attention—home, family, the Word, God, and each other.

    And that, in the end, was enough.

    Being brave,

    Michelle 🌻🌻

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Staying Present with God

    Sacred Spaces: Coffee & Time

    We often meet God in our worry—in the before and the after. We cry out when we’re waiting, and we rejoice when the prayer is answered. Yet somewhere in between, we can miss the quiet ways He has been carrying us all along.

    We fight harder and longer than necessary, trying to control the narrative. We pray for what we want, often imagining the best version of what we hope life will become. We hold tightly to outcomes, believing we know what will bring us peace.

    But God is not only concerned with our destination. He is deeply invested in our becoming.

    Somehow, with tenderness only He possesses, God caresses the heart into what is necessary for our lives. He gently loosens our grip on what we thought we needed and teaches us to trust what He is cultivating instead. His work is rarely rushed. It is intentional. It is loving. It is holy.

    This week reminded me that God is rarely as loud as my worries. There were moments I wanted answers, reassurance, and certainty. Instead, He gave me enough grace for the next conversation, the next client, the next morning, the next breath. Looking back, I realized He wasn’t waiting for me at the end of the week. He had been walking with me through every ordinary moment I almost overlooked.

    Perhaps that’s what staying present with God really is—not waiting until the blessing arrives to recognize His faithfulness, but noticing Him while the story is still unfolding.

    Staying present with God means resisting the urge to live only in yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s possibilities. It means recognizing that His grace is meeting us here—in this ordinary moment, this unanswered prayer, this quiet morning, this unexpected detour.

    Perhaps the miracle is not only that God brings us through, but that He never leaves us while we’re in it.

    May we become people who notice His presence before the breakthrough, within the process, and beyond the blessing. Because when we remain present with God, we discover He has been present with us all along.

    Being brave,

    Michelle 🌿

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Journal Prompt

    Where have I overlooked God’s presence because I was focused on His promises?

    Take a few moments today to reflect on your own “in-between.” Where has God quietly sustained you, redirected you, comforted you, or carried you before the outcome arrived? Write down three moments—no matter how ordinary—that reveal His presence was with you all along.

  • Holding Both: Between Fear and Faith

    Sundays gently invite reflection.

    Sacred Space: The Pauline Apothecary TeaBar

    Today, I’m still processing my mammogram. Softly. Practically. I’m allowing myself to acknowledge the uncertainty without allowing it to become the entire story. Waiting has never been easy for me, but I am learning that there is a quiet strength in resisting the urge to write an ending before life has had a chance to unfold.

    This Sunday has been an invitation to hold more than one truth at a time. Between moments of wondering, I found myself working on my podcast and outlining a trauma workshop that has been quietly taking shape in my heart. As I organized my notes, I was unexpectedly drawn toward accreditation courses and advanced training. One idea led to another until I realized I wasn’t simply researching credentials—I was rediscovering something about myself.

    I love teaching. Not simply standing in front of a room, but creating spaces where people understand themselves more deeply. Whether through therapy, writing, workshops, or conversations, education has always been one of the ways I love people well.

    It felt less like discovering a new dream and more like remembering an old one. Then another thought quietly found its way in.

    Am I too late to dig deeper?
    It’s an honest question, especially in my fifties. We begin to wonder if we’ve missed our moment. Is there enough time to pursue another certification? To build something new? To step into another calling? But perhaps I’ve been asking the wrong question. Maybe everything I’ve lived has prepared me for this season.

    The losses. The joys. The years of parenting.
    The years of counseling. The heartbreaks that taught compassion. The healing that taught grace. None of it has been wasted.

    The work I feel drawn toward isn’t disconnected from who I’ve been—it is a continuation of who I am becoming.

    As I sat with these thoughts, another realization settled over me. Being a woman is an ever-evolving journey of care. There are annual exams, mammograms, blood work, conversations about hormones, changing bodies, changing priorities, and the quiet awareness that our health requires a different kind of attention than it once did.

    No one really prepares us for how much emotional energy accompanies caring for our bodies. It’s not just appointments. It’s waiting. It’s wondering. It’s remembering previous biopsies, comparing reports, listening for the phone to ring, and trying not to let fear write stories that haven’t happened. There is nothing small about that.

    And yet, life keeps moving.
    Emails still need answering.
    Ideas still arrive.
    Dinner still needs to be eaten.
    Children still call.
    Dreams still whisper.
    Purpose still knocks.

    Perhaps this is what being human really is.
    A meticulous preparation for living.
    A deliberate practice of loving.
    Learning when to say yes. Learning when to say no. Choosing what deserves our attention.
    Choosing what deserves our peace. Holding hope in one hand while carrying uncertainty in the other.

    Maybe adulthood isn’t about arriving at certainty after all. Maybe it’s about learning to live faithfully in the middle—to trust God with what we cannot yet see —while remaining fully present to the life unfolding right in front of us.
    Today reminded me that anxiety has a convincing voice. It loves unfinished stories. It fills the quiet with possibilities that often never come to pass. It asks, “What if?” over and over again until it begins to sound like certainty.

    But anxiety is not prophecy.

    It is a feeling, not a forecast. It does not know tomorrow. It cannot predict the outcome of a phone call, a doctor’s appointment, or the next chapter of my life. Most importantly, it cannot rewrite God’s faithfulness. Perhaps growing older isn’t asking me to become fearless. Perhaps it’s teaching me that faith has always made room for fear—it simply refuses to let fear have the final word. So today, I am choosing to nourish more than my fears.

    I am eating well. Resting. Dreaming. Planning.
    Researching. Praying. Laughing.

    Building workshops that haven’t yet been taught.
    Preparing conversations that haven’t yet been recorded. Imagining classrooms I haven’t yet stepped into. Trusting that purpose doesn’t retire simply because I have entered my fifties. If anything, it has become more refined, more intentional, and more deeply rooted in the woman God has been shaping all along.

    There is another appointment on my calendar.
    There are workshops waiting to be built.
    There are conversations waiting to be recorded.
    There are women I have yet to meet.
    Stories I have yet to write. Classrooms I have yet to step into.

    Today, I am holding both.
    The uncertainty and the hope.
    The practical next steps and the quiet prayers.
    The changing body and the growing purpose.
    The questions I cannot answer and the life that continues unfolding anyway.

    Perhaps this is one of the quiet gifts of growing older—not that life becomes easier, but that we become more willing to live faithfully in the middle of it. We stop demanding certainty before we move. We learn that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s choosing to keep living while we wait.

    And perhaps the quiet between isn’t empty at all.
    Perhaps it is where God continues preparing us—for deeper work, deeper love, deeper faith, and the courage to keep becoming.

    Tomorrow will bring whatever tomorrow brings.
    Today, I will nourish my body, tend to my purpose, trust God’s heart, and hold both.
    Between fear and faith.

    For today, that is enough.

    Being brave,

    Michelle.

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    The Seventh Wonder: Grace

    Graced for More

    There’s something special about July.

    The seventh month quietly invites me to pause. It isn’t the excitement of a new year or the anticipation of autumn. Instead, it feels like a gentle checkpoint—a place where I can stop long enough to ask myself, How am I really doing?
    This first week of July has found me reflecting more than usual.

    I’ve been taking inventory. Not the kind of inventory that measures success by accomplishments or compares my life to someone else’s timeline. Rather, the kind that requires honesty, courage, and enough grace to tell the truth without condemning myself.

    I’ve reflected on parenting.
    No matter how old our children become, parenting continues to shape us. There are moments I’m incredibly proud of, moments I wish I could relive, conversations I would handle differently, and seasons that stretched me beyond what I thought I could bear. Yet, through every chapter, love has remained constant. Perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts of parenthood—we learn that perfect isn’t the goal. Faithful love is.

    I’ve reflected on singleness.
    Singleness has taught me things marriage never could have. It has uncovered places where I’ve grown stronger, where I’ve healed, and where I still carry hope. There have been disappointments, unmet expectations, and relationships that simply weren’t meant to continue. There have also been beautiful reminders that waiting is not the same as being forgotten.

    Then there are relationships. The journey of loving people—and allowing yourself to be loved—isn’t simple. There have been hopes that never unfolded, missteps I wish I could undo, and mistakes that could break anyone’s heart. Some lessons arrived gently. Others demanded tears before they revealed their purpose.

    Yet I remain here.
    Still believing in love.
    Still believing people can heal.
    Still believing that God writes stories we could never script ourselves.

    I’ve also been taking inventory of practical things.
    My finances. My goals. My dreams. The life I’m building. The spaces I’m organizing. From decluttering closets to organizing my budget, I’ve realized both require similar questions: What belongs? What no longer serves me? What am I making room for? And yes…I’ve even laughed to myself wondering if this is finally the year I’ll commit to playing the lottery. Probably not. But it’s funny what crosses your mind when you’re dreaming about possibilities.

    The question that keeps returning, though, is much deeper: Am I still walking within God’s will for my life? Not someone else’s expectations. Not society’s timeline. Not the pressure to have everything figured out by now.

    Simply God’s will.
    Because I’ve learned that faithfulness doesn’t always look flashy. Sometimes it looks like showing up to work. Paying your bills. Loving your family well. Resting when you’re tired. Saying no when your spirit says no. Continuing to hope after disappointment. Trusting God one ordinary day at a time.

    Perhaps the hardest inventory of all has been extending grace to myself.
    Self-grace sounds beautiful until it’s time to practice it. I’m often harder on myself than anyone else could ever be.

    I’ve never been one to look for shortcuts. I’ve always believed in doing the work, taking the longer road if necessary, and building a life with integrity. There are consequences to choosing the long way around. Progress can feel slower. Success may arrive later than expected. Sometimes you wonder if everyone else discovered a map you somehow missed.

    But I also know this: The long road has introduced me to a deeper version of myself. It has strengthened my faith. It has refined my character.
    It has taught me that love is less about arriving and more about becoming.

    Maybe that’s what this season is really teaching me.

    To become someone who allows herself to be loved while continuing to love others well. To celebrate growth instead of perfection. To trust God’s pace instead of my own. To believe that every chapter—even the difficult ones—has been shaping something beautiful.

    As July unfolds, my prayer is simple.
    May I continue taking honest inventory without losing hope. May I organize my heart as carefully as I organize my home. May I steward my finances with wisdom, my relationships with intention, and my dreams with open hands. Most of all, may I remember that God’s grace has always been greater than my regrets. And perhaps that’s the sweetest place to begin again.

    The greatest wonder isn’t that I’ve built the perfect life. It’s that God has sustained me through every imperfect season with grace.

    Gracefully, M.🌻

    “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord.” Book of Lamentations 3:40

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • The Life I No Longer Want to Escape

    Sometimes healing isn’t found in extraordinary moments. Sometimes it’s waiting in a rainy afternoon, a son’s quiet kindness, and the life we’ve finally learned to notice.

    Yesterday was beautifully ordinary.
    I spent most of the day with my youngest son, Brutus. At nineteen, he is becoming someone I enjoy simply being around—not because he is my son, but because I genuinely like the human he is growing into.

    We started our morning at the gym. He has become my strength training coach, patiently teaching me form, encouraging me to trust my body in new ways. After helping me through my workout, he stayed for his own while I rushed home to work for a bit before we met again later that afternoon.

    Together, we attended our first horse show.
    The stable where he has been learning horsemanship hosted its inaugural show, and I found myself listening more than watching. His excitement wasn’t performative; it was rooted in learning. Every few moments he would lean over to explain a technique, identify a movement, or share something new he had discovered. Watching someone you love come alive through curiosity is a gift all its own.

    It was hot, sticky hot—one of those Carolina afternoons where the sun seems to wrap itself around everything. Yet being surrounded by horses, open fields, and the quiet rhythm of nature made the heat feel almost secondary.

    There was a moment that stayed with me.
    He noticed I didn’t have a place to sit and quietly found me a chair. I declined. Later, as people shifted around us, he gently pulled me a little closer beside him, instinctively making sure I felt protected. It wasn’t dramatic. It was love. The kind of love that matures almost unnoticed. The kind parents pray they’ll one day receive from the children they’ve spent years protecting.

    When we returned home, there was nowhere else either of us needed to be. He disappeared into his room. Koda curled into his favorite spot on the sofa. I opened my book. Then the rain came.

    The storm rolled in slowly, tapping against the windows while the house settled into that sacred silence that asks nothing of you except your presence. Koda slept. I read. The world outside watered itself. It felt like magic.

    Koda Bear, in the Storms

    As I sat there, I realized how deeply I love my life.

    Not because it is perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered or every wound has healed. But because I’ve learned to recognize the beauty of the pauses.

    The quiet. The small victories. The ordinary moments that somehow become sacred when we’re paying attention. God has a way of completing things within us that we don’t even realize are still under construction. While we’re busy looking for transformation in grand gestures, He often does His deepest work in stillness—in conversations with our children, afternoons beneath open skies, storms that invite us to slow down, and homes that finally feel like peace.

    I’ve also learned that self-love isn’t nearly as tidy as people make it sound. It isn’t a checklist.
    It isn’t one perfect morning routine or one profound breakthrough. It isn’t forgiving yourself once and never struggling again. Sometimes self-love is simply staying. Staying present. Staying soft. Staying open enough to notice that your life is already holding pieces of the very peace you’ve been praying for.

    What I know is this: I have a heart that has loved deeply, even when it cost me. I am loved in beautifully complex ways. And somehow… it all works for me. Maybe that’s what healing begins to look like. Not a destination.

    Just the quiet confidence that the life you’re living no longer needs to be escaped. Sometimes it simply needs to be noticed.

    Loving brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Sunflowers
    Staying Soft
  • Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    What Recovery Is Teaching Me About Self-Care and Self-Awareness

    Sunday Walks

    There is something about recovery that slows life down enough for you to notice it.

    This past week, as I continue healing after surgery, I found myself looking at self-care through a different lens. Not as another task on a checklist. Not as something to squeeze into a busy schedule. But as an invitation to become more aware of myself.

    Awareness is funny that way. It often arrives quietly.

    This weekend was filled with little discoveries.

    During a wine-shopping trip, I stumbled across a no-sugar white wine. The name alone made me smile: Sunny with a Chance of Flowers. Isn’t that delightful? Sometimes joy shows up in the smallest places—a clever label, an unexpected find, a moment that makes you pause and grin.

    I finally sat still long enough to do an at-home facial.

    Friends, stop sleeping on your facial hygiene.

    There is something deeply satisfying about taking twenty minutes to care for your skin. It felt less like beauty maintenance and more like an act of honoring myself. The warm water, the cleansing, the quiet attention—it was invigorating. A reminder that tending to ourselves is not vanity. It is presence.

    I also reached out to my best friend from high school.

    We laughed until we could hardly catch our breath. Our conversation wandered through aging, menopause, parenting adult children, grandmothering, dating in our fifties, and the beautiful freedom of loving our “no.”

    At one point, we found ourselves discussing retirement.

    Retirement.

    How did we get here?

    I am still chuckling about it.

    There is a unique comfort in friendships that have witnessed multiple versions of you. Friends who knew you before the responsibilities, before the heartbreaks, before the career milestones, before the wisdom. Friends who can remind you that while much has changed, something essential remains beautifully the same.

    Sunday brought another gift.

    My son and I visited a different park and took a walk together. The weather was perfect. The kind of day that reminds you God is generous with simple things—sunshine, fresh air, movement, conversation, and time.

    I love Sundays.

    They feel like a sacred exhale before a new week begins.

    As I prepared for the week ahead, I found myself creating homework assignments for several clients navigating difficult healing journeys. There is a space I deeply cherish as a therapist—the place where my clinical mind meets my therapeutic heart.

    Knowledge matters. Research matters. Interventions matter.

    But so does compassion.

    So does sitting with someone in the uncertainty of becoming.

    So does believing healing is possible even when someone else cannot yet see it for themselves.

    Perhaps that is why this week’s reflections felt so meaningful.

    Recovery has reminded me that self-care is really a self-awareness challenge.

    Can we notice what brings us joy?

    Can we recognize when our bodies need rest?

    Can we make room for friendships that nourish us?

    Can we embrace new seasons without mourning every season that has passed?

    Can we accept that healing is often found in ordinary moments?

    A walk.

    A conversation.

    A facial.

    A glass of wine with an impossibly charming name.

    The older I get, the more I believe that a meaningful life is not built from grand gestures alone. It is built from paying attention. It is built from noticing where grace has quietly settled.

    This week, grace looked like laughter, friendship, recovery, sunshine, meaningful work, and a Sunday well spent.

    And honestly, that feels like a pretty beautiful way to heal.

    Being brave,

    Michelle ✨🌿✨

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • Recovering + Healing Intimately Worded

    Something New: May Is Coming, and So Am I

    Essentials: Vitamins •Water •Writing

    There is something humbling about surgery.

    About being placed on a table. About surrendering control. About waking up and realizing your body has been altered in ways you cannot immediately see but can absolutely feel.

    My surgery was successful. I am healing. I am grateful.

    And yet.

    There is a quiet grief in realizing your body is no longer arranged the way it once was. Nothing cosmetic. Nothing dramatic to the outside world. But internally — something is missing. Removed because it was making me sick. Removed so I could live healthier.

    Still, the body keeps record.

    And sometimes, in the quiet of the evening, I feel like I am living in a body that is familiar… yet slightly foreign.

    I am told I will feel better. I am told my energy will return. I am told my body will thank me.

    I believe that.

    But healing is not just physical. It is relational. It is emotional. It is spiritual. And this is where my Tribe stepped in. There is nothing like being taken care of when you are the one who is usually strong. The helper. The therapist. The one holding space.

    To have meals brought. To receive check-in texts.
    To be told, “Rest. I’ve got this.” That kind of love softens something in you. Support is not a luxury. It is a lifeline.

    We were never designed to white-knuckle recovery alone. Independence is admirable. Isolation is not. My healing has been wrapped in the hands of people who showed up without being asked twice. That is sacred.

    And something else surprised me.

    Before surgery, I was placed on a restricted diet. Very clean. Very intentional. No rushing. No drive-through. No emotional snacking between sessions. And I liked it.

    I felt clearer. Lighter. More disciplined in a way that did not feel punishing. I enjoyed cooking at home. I enjoyed sitting with my meals. I enjoyed honoring my body instead of negotiating with it.

    There is a lesson there.

    Sometimes what feels like limitation is actually refinement.

    May is approaching.

    May carries warmth. Flowers. New light. But for many of us, it also carries the tender ache of Mother’s Day. The grief of what was. The grief of what wasn’t. The grief of what we hoped would be different by now.

    I feel that too.

    Healing in one area does not erase longing in another.

    But this quarter of the year — I want better.

    Better health. Better boundaries. Better nourishment. Better stewardship of my body and my time.

    Not perfection. Just better. More aligned.

    If surgery taught me anything, it is this: your body will force the conversation you have been postponing.

    Slow down. Eat differently. Let people help you.
    Grieve what changed. Welcome what remains.

    My body is not new. It carries scars. It carries history. It now carries absence. But it also carries resilience.

    And perhaps this is what May is offering — not reinvention, but renewal.

    A gentler strength.
    A supported healing.
    A deeper listening.

    If you are entering this month with hope and grief sitting side by side, you are not alone.

    Take the help. Eat the meal at home. Rest when your body whispers. Let love find you in your most human places.

    May is coming.

    And so are we. 🌿🌻🌿

    Being brave,

    XOXO 💕

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • When Loss Becomes Structure, and Grief Becomes Growth

    Forever Bloom

    There is a kind of loss that rearranges the furniture of your life. Not just the dramatic kind, and not only death. The loss of a relationship. The loss of income. The loss of identity. The loss of the version of you that once felt certain. The loss of something you prayed for and believed would stay. Any loss that breaks you open deserves to be named.

    What we rarely discuss is how necessary structure becomes after loss. When something shatters us, the nervous system searches for safety, the mind searches for meaning, and the heart searches for steady ground. Without intention, we can drift. Days blur together. Motivation thins. We mistake emotional chaos for destiny. But structure is not denial. Structure is how we begin to heal.

    After loss, structure becomes sacred. It may look simple, even ordinary. Waking up at the same time each morning. Making the bed. Drinking water before coffee. Showing up to work even when your heart feels heavy. Keeping therapy appointments. Walking. Praying. Journaling. Breathing deeply when emotion rises. These acts are not small. They are stabilizing. They quietly tell the body, “You are not dying. You are becoming.”

    What broke you open is not here to destroy you. It is here to deepen you. Breakthrough does not always arrive wrapped in celebration. Sometimes it arrives dressed as loss. Sometimes it looks like rejection. Sometimes it looks like a door closing that you begged God to keep open. Growth often requires grief. We do not evolve without releasing. We do not mature without mourning. We do not become wiser by clinging to what once felt safe.

    There is a particular courage required to release what you once prayed for. That surrender humbles you. It exposes attachment and teaches you that answered prayers are not always permanent assignments. It forces you to trust that what is leaving may be making room, even when that space initially feels empty and frightening.

    The difficulty of your current season will one day become a memory. There will come a time when you say, “I remember when,” and this chapter will be the turning point in your story. Not because you passed some invisible test or earned joy through suffering, but because adversity reorganizes us. When life does not balance neatly—when the yin does not yang—our humanity steps forward. We become more compassionate. More discerning. More honest. More courageous. We learn to love with clarity instead of fear.

    Your good things will multiply, not as a reward for pain, but as a natural consequence of who you are becoming through it. When you have been broken open, you see differently. When you have grieved deeply, you choose differently. When you have survived loss, you no longer settle for what diminishes you. You recognize alignment more quickly. You protect your peace more intentionally.

    Trust the healing that follows breakthrough, even when the breakthrough first looked like devastation. Trust yourself to recognize when you are stepping into the next love, the next lesson, and the next win. There is wisdom growing in you right now. There is clarity forming beneath the ache. There is strength building in the quiet moments no one else sees.

    Structure your days. Honor your grief. Release with intention. And then allow your life to reorganize around who you are becoming rather than what you lost. You are not behind. You are not ruined. You are in the middle of transformation. And one day, this will be in the past—evidence that you survived, evolved, and loved again.

    Being brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle