Intimately Worded with Michelle

Category: selfawareness

  • Sunday Reflection: Advocating for Myself, Finding My Center

    Sunday Reflection: Advocating for Myself, Finding My Center

    Sundays have always been my sanctuary—the quiet pause, the slow swirl of coffee steam, the soft scratch of pen on paper. Today, I’m sitting with a truth I’m learning more intimately: self-advocacy is not optional. It is necessary. It is the bridge between hope and action, between fear and clarity, between my body and my spirit.

    Anchoring —Advocate

    This week, I found myself in a strange liminal space: my body insisting on attention, my mind navigating uncertainty, and the familiar ache of missing my mom whispering in the background. I was faced with the possibility of emergency surgery, yet something in me hesitated. I wanted guidance, but not without discernment. I sought the advice of my primary care physician, the solace of my adult children, the steady presence of my siblings. And through it all, I leaned into my partner, Reggie, whose care and calm felt like a cape draped over my shoulders in a storm.

    Through these moments, I kept returning to my faith. Spirituality has been my guide when life demands pivoting, when seeking clarity in confusion, and when life lifts me up and lays me low. The words of James 1:5 remind me: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Leaning into that guidance, I found the courage to pause, reflect, and make decisions in alignment with my body, my mind, and my soul.

    Self-advocacy is sacred. It is the act of showing up for myself when life threatens to sweep me along. It is telling the world—and reminding myself—that my voice, my feelings, and my choices matter. Choosing to pause before surgery wasn’t indecision. It was discernment. It was a quiet, stubborn insistence that I would not let fear dictate my path.

    I share this because I know so many of us move through life forgetting to take our own hand, to speak our truth in the spaces where it matters most. Whether it’s in health, relationships, work, or our spiritual lives, advocating for ourselves requires courage, patience, and a fierce tenderness. It is not selfish; it is essential.

    Today, I write with gratitude for the support around me, for the faith that keeps me anchored, and for the hope that whispers, even when my body feels foreign to me. Advocating for myself is not just surviving—it is leaning into life fully, with awareness, presence, and love.

    May we all find the courage to speak our needs, honor our bodies, trust our wisdom, and lean into our faith when the path is uncertain.

    Be brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • God Remains in the Small, Tender Things

    God Remains in the Small, Tender Things

    There is a sacredness that lives in ordinary moments. Not the loud, mountaintop kind of sacred. The quieter kind. The kind that slips into your life wearing your man’s favorite sports jersey on a lazy Sunday afternoon after Church, hair wrapped up in a messy bun, soul rested, heart slowly learning how to trust softness again.

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how God remains.

    Heart work.

    Not just when life feels orderly. Not just when prayers feel answered in obvious ways. But in the everyday unfolding of intimacy… the kind that feels human, warm, and sometimes unexpectedly healing.

    This Sunday felt like that.

    After Church, we drifted into what has become our unspoken ritual — pajama Sundays. No rushing. No performing productivity. Just allowing ourselves to exist beside each other. I pulled on his favorite sports jersey, oversized and comfortable, the fabric carrying the faint scent of him. There is something quietly vulnerable about wearing something that belongs to someone you care about. It is closeness without announcement. Trust without speeches.

    And in that moment, I felt it — God remaining in tenderness.

    We spent the afternoon watching movies, eventually landing on Double Jeopardy. An older film, but one that stirred something deeper than entertainment. As the story unfolded, the betrayal by the husband was sharp and unsettling. What surprised me wasn’t the plot twist, but his reaction to it.

    He was hurt by it. Not dismissive. Not detached. Hurt.

    There was a visible discomfort in him as he processed the cruelty of a man who could betray someone who loved him. He spoke about it with genuine frustration, almost grief-like confusion about how someone could carry such intentions toward their partner.

    And I watched him while he watched the movie.

    Sometimes God shows up in sermons. Sometimes in scripture. But sometimes, God shows up in the way someone’s heart reveals itself when they are not trying to impress you. Just reacting. Just being.

    There is a quiet safety in witnessing a man be moved by injustice against love. It tells you something words cannot. It reveals a moral tenderness that does not perform strength through hardness, but through care.

    God remains in that too.

    I am learning that divine presence is not reserved for grand spiritual awakenings. Sometimes it rests in the way someone reminds you to eat after a long day. The way they lean closer during a tense movie scene. The way they respond emotionally to pain that isn’t even their own.

    God remains in shared blankets.

    God remains in laughter between dialogue.

    God remains in oversized jerseys and slow Sundays.

    God remains in the soft rebuilding of trust after life has taught you to armor up.

    For a long time, I believed closeness required vigilance. That love needed monitoring. That safety had to be negotiated constantly. But lately, I am experiencing intimacy that feels like exhale. Not perfect. Not fairy tale. But present. Intentional. Gentle in ways that feel spiritually grounding.

    There is something holy about being allowed to soften without fear of being mishandled.

    And maybe that is one of the most overlooked ways God stays with us — through the people who hold our tenderness with care.

    We often search for God in clarity, answers, or control over outcomes. Yet I am discovering God also remains in the unfolding… in learning someone’s emotional language… in noticing how they respond to harm, to love, to vulnerability, to stories that mirror real life.

    God remains in how we learn each other.

    This relationship is teaching me that divine reassurance doesn’t always arrive as certainty. Sometimes it arrives as consistency. As presence. As small moments stacking themselves into quiet evidence that love can be both safe and deeply felt.

    That afternoon, wrapped in comfort and movie light, I felt gratitude rise unexpectedly. Not just for him, but for the way God continues to show me that intimacy does not have to be chaotic to be passionate. That softness does not weaken connection — it deepens it.

    There is holiness in ordinary love.

    There is ministry in tenderness.

    And there is God… still remaining… in all of our things.

    Remain brave,

    Michelle 🌿

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Scripture: “You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.” ~ Psalm 16:11

    Reflection:

    •Where have you experienced tenderness that felt spiritually safe?

    •Have you allowed yourself to recognize those moments as sacred, or have you minimized them because they felt “too simple” to be divine?

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Snowed In on a Sunday: Expectancy, Stillness, and the Grace of Pausing

    After the Storm 2026

    There is something sacred about a Sunday when North Carolina snow is expected. Not the dramatic, blizzard kind— but the kind that slows the roads, quiets the neighborhood, and gently insists: stay in.

    The kind that turns errands into cancellations and plans into permission. For me, Snow in NC carries expectancy. We watch the sky. We check the forecast more than once. We listen for the hush that comes right before it begins.

    And when it finally falls, everything feels muted— as if the world itself is holding its breath.

    Being snowed in on a Sunday feels different. It’s not confinement; it’s an invitation. To pause without explanation. To rest without productivity attached. To be still without feeling behind.

    The snow does what Sundays were always meant to do— slow us enough to notice ourselves again. There’s no rushing out the door. No pressure to make the most of the day.

    Just warm rooms, familiar quiet, and the gentle rhythm of time stretching instead of tightening.

    In the stillness, expectancy shifts. It’s no longer about what’s coming next— but about what’s already here.

    What we’ve been carrying. What we’ve been ignoring. What our bodies and spirits have been asking for all along. Snow has a way of leveling everything. Covering the noise. Softening the edges.

    Reminding us that rest is not laziness—

    it’s alignment. And maybe that’s the gift of being snowed in on a Sunday: the realization that pausing is not a detour from life, but a return to it.

    A reminder that God often speaks in the quiet.

    That clarity doesn’t always arrive with movement. That some seasons require us to stop long enough to feel what’s true.

    So today, let the snow fall. Let the world wait. Let your nervous system settle. Let Sunday be Sunday again.

    There is grace in the pause. There is wisdom in the stillness. There is expectancy even here. Especially here. 🌿❄️🌿

    Remain Brave,

    Michelle

    Closing Reflection

    As the snow settles and the world grows quiet,

    ask yourself—

    What am I being invited to pause from right now?And what part of me has been waiting for this stillness to finally speak?

    You don’t have to rush the answer. Let it rise slowly, like snowfall— unannounced, unforced, enough.

    Soft Scripture

    “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” ~Psalm 4:8

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Snow Day Reflections: Love, Comfort and waiting WITH God

    Snow Day Reflections: Love, Comfort and waiting WITH God

    A young woman with textured hair reading a book while sitting on a cozy sofa surrounded by stacks of books and a small Christmas tree in the background.

    North Carolina slowed all the way down this weekend. A predicted historical Snowstorm. Snow day. Ice storm. Our first snow day together.

    The world outside went quiet, the quiet that presses you inward. He promised breakfast in bed—said it easily, like warmth was a given. And in that moment, it was. Safety felt less like a concept. It was more like a posture: bodies tucked in, heat humming, nowhere we needed to be but here. I honor the quiet this time brings.

    What I learned this weekend came in small, honest ways.

    He has a tendency to fuss about things that bring me comfort. My favorite t-shirt—well worn, soft from years of loving, holes that tell the truth of time. An uneven drawstring on the sweatsuit he bought me, something I barely noticed until he did.

    I don’t take it as criticism. I’m learning it’s his way of caring out loud—wanting things right, wanting things better, wanting me wrapped in what he believes I deserve. Still, I smile. Comfort doesn’t always need correcting.

    Then there’s the contrast that makes me chuckle.

    This man loves action movies—the louder, the better. Yet Sylvie’s Love has him standing up, cheering, eyes teary, emotions spilling over without apology. I watch him from the corner of the sofa and think, There you are. The tenderness we don’t always name finds its way out anyway.

    Later, he sleeps. I study the rise and fall of his chest like it’s a prayer. Each time my phone rings, he wakes—every single time.

    “Everyone okay?”

    That question stays with me. The instinct to protect. To check. To stay alert even in rest.

    And me?

    I’m learning something quieter, maybe harder. I’m learning to rest in my uncertainty of us. Not rush clarity. Not demand guarantees. Not brace for what hasn’t happened.

    That is my good in loving better—allowing presence without possession, warmth without certainty, love without over-managing the outcome.

    Snow melts. Ice thaws.

    And still, there is comfort.

    Not named.

    Not explained.

    Just felt.

    It moves through the quiet of the house. It moves through shared warmth. It provides the permission to be where I am without reaching for what’s next. God’s presence this weekend didn’t arrive with answers.

    It came as refuge—steady, unhurried, close. Meeting me in the pause. Holding me while nothing is resolved.

    I’m learning that loving better sometimes looks like staying. Letting uncertainty sit beside me. Trusting that grace doesn’t rush what is still becoming.

    “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,

    to the soul who seeks Him.”

    — Lamentations 3:25

    A gentle question:

    Where might God be sitting with you right now, simply asking you to stay? Please share your thoughts.

    Be braver,

    Michelle🌿

    Sylvie’s Love with Tessa Thompson

    The Grey with Liam Neeson

    Buck and The Preacher with Sidney Poitier

    300 with Gerard Butler

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • His T-Shirts, Cuddles, and Coffee — Our Bodies Remember

    His T-Shirts, Cuddles, and Coffee — Our Bodies Remember

    Choose You

    There is a particular intimacy that comes with age—one that is slower, fuller, and unapologetically embodied. I wake up in his t-shirt again.

    It hangs off my shoulders, soft and oversized, brushing against skin that has lived. Skin that has stretched, healed, marked time. At this stage of life, nothing about my body is imaginary. Everything has a story.

    Our bodies tell our most intimate stories—

    the stretch marks, the tats, the birthmarks.

    The places where life pressed hard and didn’t apologize. The places where love once left and later returned.

    When he pulls me close, there is no scanning, no assessment. He affirms the deep valleys, the crooks, the life pain my body has held. His touch doesn’t avoid the tender places—it honors them. There is something profoundly healing about being touched without correction. About being desired without being edited.

    We cuddle like people who have nothing to prove.

    His body meets mine not with urgency, but with knowing. The kind of knowing that comes from grief survived, prayers whispered, and faith that had to mature before love could. His hand rests—not to claim, but to stay.

    The coffee brews quietly, like a benediction.

    Steam rises while we remain tangled, breathing each other in. In moments like this, I feel God close—not distant or judgmental, but present. I believe intimacy like this is holy. Not because it is perfect, but because it is honest.

    After 50, desire doesn’t disappear—it becomes discerning. It chooses safety. It chooses warmth. It chooses someone who understands that pleasure and pain often live in the same body. Someone who doesn’t rush past the scars but recognizes them as proof of survival.

    Faith has taught me this:

    God restores through gentleness more often than spectacle. Through mornings like this. Through affection that doesn’t demand transformation. Through love that says, you don’t have to tighten to be worthy.

    This kind of intimacy feels like redemption.

    Like being met exactly where I am—with reverence for the flesh that carried me through childbirth, heartbreak, longing, and prayer. Like God saying, I remember what you’ve endured—and I still call this good.

    So I stay in his t-shirt a little longer.

    I let my body soften. I let myself be held without shrinking. After 50, intimacy is not about becoming someone new. It’s about being loved as the woman you already are.

    And that—

    that feels like grace poured slowly, one quiet Saturday and/or Sunday morning at a time.

    XOXO,

    Michelle 💛

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Red Flags or Revelation? Learning to Trust Your Inner Wisdom in Love

    Red Flags or Revelation? Learning to Trust Your Inner Wisdom in Love

    In dating and intimacy, we’re often taught to look for surface-level markers of “worthiness” — titles, income, lifestyle, social status. But the deeper truth is this:

    A person can look impressive and still live in quiet chaos.

    And the more mature version of you doesn’t need to investigate someone’s outer life to understand their inner world.

    You don’t have to figure out how much someone makes to know whether they are emotionally whole.

    What matters more are quieter, more honest questions:

    Is their life stable — emotionally, spiritually, relationally?

    Does their story match their choices?

    Do you feel safe, calm, and clear in their presence — or confused, tense, and unsettled?

    These questions don’t come from judgment.

    They come from wisdom.

    You’re not “too sensitive.”

    You’re perceptive.

    When something feels off, it isn’t an accusation.

    It’s information.

    Your body notices before your mind catches up.

    Your spirit recognizes misalignment long before you can explain it.

    And trusting yourself doesn’t make you cynical — it makes you grounded.

    Quiet clarity is powerful.

    You don’t have to argue with your instincts.

    You don’t have to convince yourself to stay curious about red flags.

    You don’t have to silence your nervous system to be “open-minded.”

    You are allowed to listen to the discomfort.

    You are allowed to honor the pause.

    You are allowed to choose peace over potential.

    Emotional intelligence in love looks like this:

    Peace without performance.

    Consistency without chasing.

    Safety without forcing.

    And spiritual maturity shows up as discernment — not paranoia.

    You are not rejecting people.

    You are protecting your peace.

    And that is holy.

    I pray this Sunday you focused on what you need and that you know that your wants (no matter how big) are divinely aligned. May peace be your stand and hope your anchor. You are worth your healing work. 💕

    Be brave,

    Michelle🌿

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • The nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing…

    The nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing…

    I am feeling much better after a severe bout with a cold and congestion that would not let loose for about ten days.

    Comforts of Home

    I think I’ve finally returned to the land of the living… slowly, gently, gratefully. Today I felt the slightest spark to read, to write, to journal, to work a puzzle—little things I had planned for this holiday break before my body reminded me it had other intentions. 🤕

    But Sundays? #Sundays remain the best.

    This morning I let myself sleep in. No alarms, no rushing. Just rest.

    Then a long, warm shower—💕

    My full face regimen—💕

    Moisturized from neck to toes—💕

    H2O flowing through this human system—💕

    Brushed my locs and massaged my scalp—💕

    I even put on my pearl earrings. I miss my mom terribly. (Her name is Pearl.) 🌿

    And when I exhaled… a deep sigh moved through me like a small resurrection. My appetite still isn’t back, but I’ll take these little returns. These tiny renewals.

    I’m sipping hot tea—no coffee for almost two weeks now. Outside, it’s raining, that soft hush that makes the world feel like it’s whispering. With my youngest two at work, it’s just Big Koda and me in this quiet house.

    Sundays are when I sage and soulfully reset. When I choose to be here, fully, even if “here” feels tender and strange. My weekly writing—this slow, intentional ritual—has a way of improving my emotional disposition. It lets me name the weight of the world without being crushed beneath it.

    I don’t have answers to any of it. I haven’t made sense of much of anything lately. But I am releasing the heaviness—the chaotic energy that keeps trying to settle in my spirit.

    Today I’m still moving slowly and softly. And that feels holy enough.

    “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” ~3 John 1:2

    Keep shining, Beautiful Ones. Keep shining. 

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Koda Bear
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  • Falling Season, Get What You Give

    Falling Season, Get What You Give

    November Reflections: Reciprocity, Renewal, and Protecting the Heart

    Work is creeping in, in a deep way—feeling like November and the end of Fall. I know there’s still more Autumn left, even if the weather and early darkness suggest otherwise. There’s a chill that whispers both endings and beginnings.

    For now, I’ll protect my physical body with crochet scarves and my red beanie, layers of warmth and softness that feel like care. Spiritually, I’ll protect myself with scripture, hot tea, and quietness. This combination grounds me—it’s a gentle ritual of self-preservation and presence.

    I will also continue to follow through with clinical encouragement and therapeutic support for my clients. I love what I practice for a living, though it often carries a great amount of heaviness. Bearing witness to others’ pain and growth is sacred work—it deepens empathy but also stretches the heart thin at times. My heart feels frayed a bit lately, yet my hope is deeper and wider.

    It’s Sunday again—a new month, a renewing of time. The clocks “fell back” in the early morning hours, giving us the illusion of more rest, more time. Yet I know how long it takes for the body and spirit to catch up with the shift. This symbolic turning reminds me: don’t allow the world to cloud your intuition. Trust what you know.

    Reciprocity vs. Transactional Relationships

    In therapy and in life, we often examine the balance of giving and receiving—what it means to love freely while maintaining healthy boundaries. It’s important to distinguish reciprocity from a purely transactional way of relating.

    A reciprocal relationship is rooted in goodwill, connection, and genuine care. It’s where giving becomes an act of love—not an investment expecting a return. It flows both ways, naturally and without keeping score.

    By contrast, a transactional relationship measures worth in exchanges:

    “I bought you coffee, so you owe me a coffee.”

    In reciprocity, the heart says:

    “I bought you coffee because I wanted to do something kind. I trust that you’ll hold me in love and care when I need it most.”

    The difference may seem subtle, but emotionally and spiritually, it’s profound. Reciprocity nourishes connection. Transactionality breeds comparison, resentment, and emotional distance.

    In therapy, I often remind clients that reciprocity thrives in spaces where trust and emotional safety exist. It’s a rhythm of mutual investment—where both people are free to give from overflow, not obligation.

    Love, God, and the Waiting Season

    Lately, I’ve returned to the dating app—not out of desperation, but curiosity and openness. It’s a strange world to navigate with a tender heart and a discerning spirit. I find myself reflecting often on why I desire partnership and how I wish to love.

    Some conversations spark hope; others remind me how surface-level connection can be when rooted in transaction rather than reciprocity. There’s a quiet ache in realizing how rare it is to meet someone who’s ready to love intentionally—to listen, to give without keeping score, to see beyond what’s easy.

    And yet, even as I scroll, match, and unmatch, I still believe in divine timing. I still believe that God writes love stories differently—slowly, intentionally, with purpose and alignment. So I’m learning to wait well. To stay open, but not hurried. To protect my peace while remaining hopeful that the right heart will recognize mine.

    Spiritual Reflection, in Galatians 6:9, we’re reminded: “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

    This scripture grounds me as both therapist and woman—someone holding space for others while still longing for her own sacred companionship.

    Even when my heart feels stretched thin, I remember that reciprocity—with myself, with God, and with others—is an act of trust. A form of love that doesn’t rush or demand, but rests and receives.

    As time falls back and the days grow shorter, I choose to rest, to trust what I know, and to give from love—never from depletion.

    May this November invite you, too, into warmth, rest, and a deeper understanding of how you give and receive love. And if you, like me, are waiting on God to write your love story—know that He’s still writing.

    Reflection Prompt: Where in your life do you need to trust divine timing—in love, in purpose, or in the quiet in-between?

    Be brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • Sundays, Early Mornings & Friendship Loss

    Journey towards Better

    There’s something sacred about early Sundays — before the world fully wakes. It’s where truth sits quietly, waiting to be named.

    I know the world is on fire—

    yet what continues to amaze me is how these global flames mirror our internal ones.

    The ache, the quiet unraveling, the loss that comes not only from tragedy but from truth.

    Humanity feels lost.

    Personal and political beliefs now hold the power to alter the direction of our lives, our connections, even our sense of belonging.

    Recently, I severed a long-term friendship—

    one built on love, laughter, and shared seasons.

    It wasn’t over something petty or misunderstood.

    It was because of politics.

    Not politics as in policy, but politics as in morality.

    People often underestimate the depth of their words or the weight they carry.

    What I’ve learned is this:

    if an apology begins with “I’m not racist” but ends with unwavering support for those who harm and divide—then it isn’t an apology at all.

    It’s an attempt to seek comfort in the very space where harm was done.

    And I’ve decided I don’t have to comfort you through the ending of our friendship.

    My heart is fragile, still healing, still learning.

    But I am also living—intentionally, fully, and with boundaries rooted in love for myself.

    I love deeply, in both length and width.

    But I will not prove that love by tolerating hate, bullying, or dismissiveness disguised as “difference of opinion.”

    “Some endings are not betrayals of love — they are affirmations of self.”

    Sometimes I chuckle, not out of humor, but out of disbelief—

    because people truly forget how long we have been Black and hated.

    How long we’ve known the weight of racism—not as theory, but as lived experience.

    I have felt its ugly claws, tasted its unyielding rage, and recognized how ignorance allows it to thrive.

    And still, on early Sunday mornings, I rise.

    I pray.

    I breathe.

    I choose peace over pretense.

    Friendship loss hurts, especially when love still lingers in memory.

    But truth has a frequency that can’t be silenced, even for comfort’s sake.

    Reflection for the Soul

    This Sunday, take a moment to sit with the quiet after loss.

    Friendship, even when it ends, leaves imprints of who we were — and who we are becoming.

    Ask yourself: What does peace require of me now?

    Not the kind that avoids pain, but the kind that honors it, transforms it, and releases what no longer loves you back.

    May you find grace in your boundaries, rest in your truth,

    and gentleness in the parts of your heart still learning how to heal.

    Intimately worded,

    Michelle 🌿

  • October’ing: Autumn’s Season

    October’ing: Autumn’s Season

    Navigating with Love

    The Becoming: Generational Mid-Life and the Emotional Intelligence of Self-Discovery

    It’s in the quiet, candlelit hours of GenX-ing—when menopause-induced insomnia gently disrupts the night—that the deepest soul work begins. This is the new terrain of life: navigating the Empty Nest, the clinical realities of Diabetes and Menopause, and the relentless work of Single Parenting. But more than a list of challenges, this is an invitation to lean into the continuous, lifelong process of becoming—the act of learning and aligning with the truest self.

    The Stirring: Reconciling Capacity and Calling

    Last Sunday, the Pastor’s abrupt, almost vernacular question—”You just showing up… and not using your gifts. Not nan gift, not one?!”—acts as a spiritual provocation. It’s the divine equivalent of a coach calling a time-out: not an accusation, but a forceful invitation to acknowledge the potential you hold. This moment is the essence of true spiritual accountability, my own.

    This spiritual accountability, though met with an internal response “Sis tired” chuckle, remains the essence of emotional self-awareness. It tugged at my heart —to reconcile our current capacity with our inherent calling.

    My history with faith is one of reverence, where teaching Sunday School once felt like a natural flow of my spiritual gift. That gift, when a church home shifted, didn’t vanish—it simply transferred its medium. It became the ministry of therapy.

    This transference illustrates a powerful clinical principle of emotional intelligence: Adaptability and the re-channeling of purpose. My “can-do” spirit, once dedicated to religious education, now finds its highest expression in professional ethics—the oath to do no harm, to embody empathy, and to remain faithful to my clients’ healing. This is the integration of self—a conscious choice where the spiritual commitment (“I’ll show up faithfully”) merges with professional standards. That growing, healing confidence—the emergence of the affirmed “I”—is the sound of self-mastery in action.

    Podcast: https://renovare.org/podcasts/lifewithgod/reward-sibanda-how-to-fast

    Clinical Wisdom: Navigating the Body as a Sacred Text

    Our mid-life landscape forces us to confront the undeniable link between the physical and the emotional. As a therapist, I’m immersed in evidence-based science, theory, and methodology. Yet, the wisdom gained from navigating my own chronic illness (Diabetes) and hormonal shifts (Menopause) is a science of the self.

    The intricate dance of managing blood sugars, bone density, and muscle mass while wrestling with sweat soaked sheets is a poignant metaphor for my current developmental stage. It teaches an advanced form of self-regulation. The detailed, excruciating observation—that medication absorption differs between the thigh and the stomach—is a stark reminder of the precision required for body-mind integration. It hurt.

    We recognize that even when we felt we were “doing all the good things” —-in our 50s, the body’s internal clock and genetic blueprint have the final word. This necessity for structured, consistent care isn’t a limitation; it’s an essential, deep spiritual discipline. It’s the intentional practice of fasting to not neglect, ensuring our physical temple remains whole, just in a beautifully new way. This is not a space of fear, but of heightened mindfulness and self-compassion.

    The Anatomy of a Soul-Stretch: Identity and Healing

    Identity in mid-life is not a fixed point, but a perpetual soul-stretch. The silvering of hair is less about acquired wisdom and more about the simple, undeniable marker of experience. The heart will continue its rhythm of love, pain, breakage, and repair. What we learn is the heart’s untiring capacity for healing. The journey of emotional intelligence hinges on this realization: that healing is not an end state, but a regenerative process.

    For those of us cultivating solitude, the fleeting frustration of “being single still” gives way to a miraculous enhancement of self-sufficiency and internal coherence. We are not lost in the struggle, nor are we frantically searching for answers to the Unknowns of the future. The “monsters” of our past—the unresolved traumas and anxieties—are diminished because we have chosen to lean not into our own limited understanding, but into a trust that is larger than what we can currently see.

    This is the ultimate clinical insight and spiritual offering: giving up and giving in are rarely the only choices.

    Choose bigger. Choose the self you are #becoming. Faith your journey with love, practice being loving, and trust that the love you put forth will organically find its way back to you. The promise of the rainbow—the assurance of soul-level connection—is for those who faithfully show up, gifts in hand, for the ongoing, beautiful work of their own becoming.

    Intimately Worded.

    Michelle 🌿💕

  • Blocking vs. Boundary Setting in Intimate Relationships: Choosing What Protects Your Peace

    Blocking vs. Boundary Setting in Intimate Relationships: Choosing What Protects Your Peace

    Intuition and Self Love

    In the landscape of intimate relationships—especially ones that have ended or grown complicated—the question often arises: Do I block them, or do I set a boundary and keep the line open? Both choices carry meaning, weight, and consequences. The decision is deeply personal, but understanding the difference can help you move toward clarity and healing.

    What Is Blocking?

    Blocking is a hard boundary. It’s a clear, uncompromising decision: “You no longer have access to me in this space.”When you block someone, you remove their ability to call, text, or interact with you on social platforms. This is often used when continued access feels harmful, triggering, or disrespectful to your healing process.

    ✨ For example, one client described how every morning text from her ex felt like reopening a wound. When she finally blocked him, she said she could breathe deeper—the silence felt like freedom, not loss. She likened it to closing a door so her spirit could finally rest.

    • Impact of Blocking:
      • Immediate relief from unwanted contact.
      • Reduces temptation to re-engage in unhealthy dynamics.
      • Signals to yourself that your peace matters more than their access.
      • Can, however, stir feelings of finality or grief—sometimes blocking means truly accepting closure. The “what-if” ping pong game.

    What Is Boundary Setting?

    Boundary setting is a soft or flexible limit. It might look like muting notifications, telling the person when and how you are willing to communicate, or choosing to disengage without fully cutting off access. Boundaries require ongoing communication and reinforcement, and they often shift depending on your healing and growth.

    ✨ Another client chose boundaries over blocking with a co-parent. She muted notifications outside of agreed parenting hours, so she wasn’t startled by messages at night. This gave her control and calm, without shutting the door on necessary communication. She said it felt like drawing a gentle circle of protection around herself and her child.

    • Impact of Boundary Setting:
      • Preserves a sense of control without complete severance.
      • Allows room for civility, co-parenting, or shared responsibilities.
      • Requires emotional strength to hold the line when boundaries are tested.
      • Can prolong attachment if the other person continues to cross boundaries or send mixed messages.

    Which Is Right for You?

    The choice between blocking and boundary setting comes down to one central question: Does their access to me nurture my healing, or does it harm it?

    • If their presence disrupts your peace, drains your energy, or constantly reopens wounds—blocking may be the healthiest option.
    • If there is space for respect, distance, and maturity in ongoing contact—boundary setting may work.

    Neither choice is about punishment; both are about protecting your well-being.

    The Deeper Impact

    • Blocking often brings a sharper sense of relief and clarity, but also demands acceptance of closure.
    • Boundaries offer flexibility, but can leave cracks where old dynamics slip back in.

    Both paths teach you something powerful: your care, energy, and attention are sacred resources. Choosing how to guard them is an act of self-respect.

    A Gentle Spiritual Reminder

    When facing the choice to block or set boundaries, it can help to soften the moment with spiritual grounding. Offer yourself a simple prayer or affirmation:

    “I release what disturbs my peace. I trust that God, Spirit, and Love guide me into relationships that honor my soul. My heart is safe, my life is unfolding, and I am whole.”

    Remember: healing isn’t just about saying no to someone else—it’s about saying yes to yourself, your faith, and your future.

    Call to Action

    If you find yourself wrestling with this decision, take time to journal, pray, or meditate on these questions:

    • When I allow access, do I feel peace or pain?
    • When I remove access, do I feel loss or freedom?
    • What does my spirit long for in this season of my life?

    If the answers feel heavy, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist, faith leader, or supportive community. Sometimes the most spiritual act of love is to protect the vessel that is you.

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

    @TransitionalPathwaysPLLC

    Where healing is sacred and intimacy begins with you.

  • The Eighth Month: A Season of Shifts, Soul Work, and Soft Becoming

    The Eighth Month: A Season of Shifts, Soul Work, and Soft Becoming

    By Michelle Tillman, PsychoTherapist/Founder of Transitional Pathways, PLLC

    Graced for more💕

    August has always felt like a threshold month. The eighth out of twelve, it marks a quiet turning point—a slow descent from summer’s height into something more inward, reflective. The number eight, symbolizing new beginnings and infinite cycles, reminds me that change isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a whisper, a knowing, a sacred nudge inward.

    This August, I’m paying closer attention.

    I’m noticing how much I’ve grown through the stillness and the storms. Life, love, and relationships—each carry layers of complexity I continue to unpeel, not just as a therapist, but as a Black woman who holds space for others while learning to hold space for myself. Each interaction becomes an opportunity for reflection and growth, revealing deeper truths about my journey and the interconnectedness of our experiences.

    Parenting Through Transitions

    Parenting adult children is its own sacred terrain. There’s a constant balancing act between support and surrender, concern and trust. The role shifts from being a protector to a mirror—from telling them what to do, to showing them who I am becoming. And in that, I’m relearning who I am, too. It’s an intricate dance that requires both courage and vulnerability. As I navigate this evolving relationship, I find myself reflecting on the lessons of patience and grace that I wish to impart. There are days I want to gather them like I used to when they were small, encasing them in the warmth of my love and protection. And there are days when I sit quietly, choosing not to fill the silence, letting them figure it out—letting me figure it out. It’s hard. It’s holy. It’s human, a reminder that growth often comes in layers, revealing more of us in the process.

    The Inner Work of Love

    In love—romantic or otherwise—I’ve stopped striving for clarity at the expense of peace. I’ve learned that deeper connection doesn’t come from figuring someone out but from allowing myself to be fully known, even in uncertainty. Intimacy, for me now, feels less like pursuit and more like permission. The permission to be present, to not shrink, to not pretend I don’t need gentleness. Embracing this vulnerability has deepened my relationships in unexpected ways, fostering a sense of safety and trust that allows us to explore the beautiful complexity of our connections.

    I no longer equate urgency with care. Instead, I ask, Can this connection honor my healing pace? That question alone has brought more clarity than some relationships ever could. It’s taught me the power of setting boundaries and recognizing when a relationship fuels my spirit versus when it drains my energy.

    Spirit-Led Slow Living

    This season, I’ve been deepening my relationship with prayer, meditation, and the quiet art of slowing down. I used to think rest was the reward. Now I know it’s the way. Meditation isn’t always serene. Sometimes it’s tears. Sometimes it’s silence that says, “you’re safe now.” I’ve learned that God often speaks in the pauses between breaths, not just in the outcomes I used to chase. There is a different kind of wisdom that rises when you stop rushing. It invites you to savor life’s moments, to appreciate the beauty in the mundane, and to embrace stillness as a teacher.

    In this letting go of haste, I’ve begun to uncover the richness of my inner landscape—thoughts, feelings, dreams—and allowed them to unfold naturally.

    Holding Space for Myself

    As a therapist, I’ve witnessed transformation in others. But this year, I’ve been asked to be the witness for myself. To name my desires. To grieve what never happened. To celebrate how far I’ve come—even if no one else sees the full stretch. Healing is a personal journey, and each step brings me closer to my authentic self, reminding me that I am not defined by my past, but rather by my resilience.

    August reminds me that healing doesn’t have to be complete to be worthy. I can be tender and powerful. Grieving and grateful. Longing and whole. This dance of contradictions is where I find my strength, my joy, and my truth.

    To You, Reader:

    If you are navigating change—be it in your body, your boundaries, your beliefs—I hope you honor the pauses. I hope you let softness find you. I hope you remember that your pace is not a problem. It’s part of your becoming. Each step along this path is significant, and each moment of reflection is a gift to be cherished.

    Let August be an altar. Not to who you used to be, but to the soul you’re still discovering. Embrace this time of introspection, allowing it to guide you into deeper understanding and appreciation of both yourself and the intricate tapestry of life that connects us all.

    Always, with grace and truth.

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

    @TransitionalPathwaysPLLC

    Where healing is sacred and intimacy begins with you.