Category: God’s Love

  • Easy Like Sunday Morning

    We had plans for Sunday—church, a family movie, and a little time together before everyone scattered back into their own corners of life. The plan was simple, but it didn’t unfold the way we expected. We purchased our tickets to see The Odyssey, only to discover that the theater was full. Apparently, the rest of the world had the same idea.

    Sundays, Sunflowers, Solace.

    For a moment, I felt frustrated. We had made the effort, gotten ourselves together, and followed through on what we thought the day would be. But maybe there was something worth noticing in a theater full of people. Maybe we are all tired. Maybe we are all looking for somewhere to place our attention for a couple of hours that isn’t the news, the bills, the uncertainty, the grief, the division, or the weight of responsibilities we cannot control. It is hard out here. People are weary. And sometimes we just want to sit in the dark and let someone else’s story hold us for a while.

    So instead of fighting the interruption, we went home—and somehow, home became the better plan.

    We had a family Bible study on Job chapters 2 and 3, and it turned into a deeper conversation than I expected. It was the kind of moment where Scripture stops being something you simply read and becomes something you wrestle with together. We talked about adversity, about suffering that doesn’t always come with explanation, and about the temptation to assign meaning too quickly when someone is hurting. We sat with Job in the ashes, grieving what had been lost, and we talked about God—not the neat, packaged version that gives us answers for everything, but the God who remains present even when there are no easy answers.

    I found myself thinking about how often we try to escape discomfort. We scroll, we shop, we work, we watch television, we make plans, we fill our calendars, we stay busy. Some of it is healthy and necessary, but some of it is simply our way of saying, “Please, Lord, let me think about something else for a minute.” And I understand that impulse. But Sunday reminded me that sometimes interruption is an invitation—not necessarily to suffer more, and not to become overly spiritual about disappointment, but simply to be present.

    Because perhaps a softer life is not a life without disappointment; it is a life where disappointment doesn’t get the final word. That feels important to remember. A soft life does not mean everything goes according to plan. It does not mean the theater is always open, or that people will not disappoint us, or that life will not shift unexpectedly. Softness is not the absence of hard things. Maybe softness is what allows us to experience hard things without letting them consume everything else.

    We can be frustrated and still grateful, disappointed and still hopeful, tired and still tender. We can acknowledge that something didn’t go the way we wanted without deciding that the entire day—or our entire life—is ruined. There is freedom in that.

    The movie didn’t happen, but the family time did. And maybe that was the story we were meant to live that day. There is something sacred about allowing a day to become something different than what we planned without declaring it a loss. Maybe that is part of a softer life too—not a life without frustration or disappointment, but a life where disappointment does not get the final word.

    We came home, opened Job, talked, laughed a little, and wrestled with hard questions. For a few hours, we weren’t trying to fix the world; we were simply sitting together in it. Easy like Sunday morning—not because everything was easy, but because peace sometimes arrives when we stop insisting that the day go according to plan.

    Maybe God was not in the movie we missed. Maybe He was in the living room, in the conversation, in the willingness to stay. And maybe when life quietly closes a door, we don’t always need to immediately figure out why. Sometimes we can simply go home, be together, open the Word, and see what God might say there.

    Perhaps this is part of learning to live softly: not expecting life to always be gentle, but trusting that we do not have to become hard just because life is not. We can let disappointment be real without letting it become the story. We can loosen our grip on the plan and make room for what is actually happening.

    Because sometimes the blessing is not in getting what we planned. Sometimes it is discovering that what we received was enough. And sometimes Sunday morning feels easy not because life is easier, but because for a little while, we remember where to place our attention—home, family, the Word, God, and each other.

    And that, in the end, was enough.

    Being brave,

    Michelle 🌻🌻

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • The Life I No Longer Want to Escape

    Sometimes healing isn’t found in extraordinary moments. Sometimes it’s waiting in a rainy afternoon, a son’s quiet kindness, and the life we’ve finally learned to notice.

    Yesterday was beautifully ordinary.
    I spent most of the day with my youngest son, Brutus. At nineteen, he is becoming someone I enjoy simply being around—not because he is my son, but because I genuinely like the human he is growing into.

    We started our morning at the gym. He has become my strength training coach, patiently teaching me form, encouraging me to trust my body in new ways. After helping me through my workout, he stayed for his own while I rushed home to work for a bit before we met again later that afternoon.

    Together, we attended our first horse show.
    The stable where he has been learning horsemanship hosted its inaugural show, and I found myself listening more than watching. His excitement wasn’t performative; it was rooted in learning. Every few moments he would lean over to explain a technique, identify a movement, or share something new he had discovered. Watching someone you love come alive through curiosity is a gift all its own.

    It was hot, sticky hot—one of those Carolina afternoons where the sun seems to wrap itself around everything. Yet being surrounded by horses, open fields, and the quiet rhythm of nature made the heat feel almost secondary.

    There was a moment that stayed with me.
    He noticed I didn’t have a place to sit and quietly found me a chair. I declined. Later, as people shifted around us, he gently pulled me a little closer beside him, instinctively making sure I felt protected. It wasn’t dramatic. It was love. The kind of love that matures almost unnoticed. The kind parents pray they’ll one day receive from the children they’ve spent years protecting.

    When we returned home, there was nowhere else either of us needed to be. He disappeared into his room. Koda curled into his favorite spot on the sofa. I opened my book. Then the rain came.

    The storm rolled in slowly, tapping against the windows while the house settled into that sacred silence that asks nothing of you except your presence. Koda slept. I read. The world outside watered itself. It felt like magic.

    Koda Bear, in the Storms

    As I sat there, I realized how deeply I love my life.

    Not because it is perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered or every wound has healed. But because I’ve learned to recognize the beauty of the pauses.

    The quiet. The small victories. The ordinary moments that somehow become sacred when we’re paying attention. God has a way of completing things within us that we don’t even realize are still under construction. While we’re busy looking for transformation in grand gestures, He often does His deepest work in stillness—in conversations with our children, afternoons beneath open skies, storms that invite us to slow down, and homes that finally feel like peace.

    I’ve also learned that self-love isn’t nearly as tidy as people make it sound. It isn’t a checklist.
    It isn’t one perfect morning routine or one profound breakthrough. It isn’t forgiving yourself once and never struggling again. Sometimes self-love is simply staying. Staying present. Staying soft. Staying open enough to notice that your life is already holding pieces of the very peace you’ve been praying for.

    What I know is this: I have a heart that has loved deeply, even when it cost me. I am loved in beautifully complex ways. And somehow… it all works for me. Maybe that’s what healing begins to look like. Not a destination.

    Just the quiet confidence that the life you’re living no longer needs to be escaped. Sometimes it simply needs to be noticed.

    Loving brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

    Sunflowers
    Staying Soft
  • Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    Sunny with a Chance of Flowers🌺

    What Recovery Is Teaching Me About Self-Care and Self-Awareness

    Sunday Walks

    There is something about recovery that slows life down enough for you to notice it.

    This past week, as I continue healing after surgery, I found myself looking at self-care through a different lens. Not as another task on a checklist. Not as something to squeeze into a busy schedule. But as an invitation to become more aware of myself.

    Awareness is funny that way. It often arrives quietly.

    This weekend was filled with little discoveries.

    During a wine-shopping trip, I stumbled across a no-sugar white wine. The name alone made me smile: Sunny with a Chance of Flowers. Isn’t that delightful? Sometimes joy shows up in the smallest places—a clever label, an unexpected find, a moment that makes you pause and grin.

    I finally sat still long enough to do an at-home facial.

    Friends, stop sleeping on your facial hygiene.

    There is something deeply satisfying about taking twenty minutes to care for your skin. It felt less like beauty maintenance and more like an act of honoring myself. The warm water, the cleansing, the quiet attention—it was invigorating. A reminder that tending to ourselves is not vanity. It is presence.

    I also reached out to my best friend from high school.

    We laughed until we could hardly catch our breath. Our conversation wandered through aging, menopause, parenting adult children, grandmothering, dating in our fifties, and the beautiful freedom of loving our “no.”

    At one point, we found ourselves discussing retirement.

    Retirement.

    How did we get here?

    I am still chuckling about it.

    There is a unique comfort in friendships that have witnessed multiple versions of you. Friends who knew you before the responsibilities, before the heartbreaks, before the career milestones, before the wisdom. Friends who can remind you that while much has changed, something essential remains beautifully the same.

    Sunday brought another gift.

    My son and I visited a different park and took a walk together. The weather was perfect. The kind of day that reminds you God is generous with simple things—sunshine, fresh air, movement, conversation, and time.

    I love Sundays.

    They feel like a sacred exhale before a new week begins.

    As I prepared for the week ahead, I found myself creating homework assignments for several clients navigating difficult healing journeys. There is a space I deeply cherish as a therapist—the place where my clinical mind meets my therapeutic heart.

    Knowledge matters. Research matters. Interventions matter.

    But so does compassion.

    So does sitting with someone in the uncertainty of becoming.

    So does believing healing is possible even when someone else cannot yet see it for themselves.

    Perhaps that is why this week’s reflections felt so meaningful.

    Recovery has reminded me that self-care is really a self-awareness challenge.

    Can we notice what brings us joy?

    Can we recognize when our bodies need rest?

    Can we make room for friendships that nourish us?

    Can we embrace new seasons without mourning every season that has passed?

    Can we accept that healing is often found in ordinary moments?

    A walk.

    A conversation.

    A facial.

    A glass of wine with an impossibly charming name.

    The older I get, the more I believe that a meaningful life is not built from grand gestures alone. It is built from paying attention. It is built from noticing where grace has quietly settled.

    This week, grace looked like laughter, friendship, recovery, sunshine, meaningful work, and a Sunday well spent.

    And honestly, that feels like a pretty beautiful way to heal.

    Being brave,

    Michelle ✨🌿✨

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • This Is What Healing Became

    This Is What Healing Became

    — Dating with Intention, Growing in Purpose, and Embracing What’s Next

    Soft landing

    I feel like I’m moving into something new.

    It isn’t loud. It isn’t forced. There’s no dramatic breaking or unraveling—just a quiet unfolding. A gentle crossing over into a space that feels… different. I feel loved here. Sure-footed. Grounded in a way that doesn’t require me to prove anything. And there’s a happiness present—steady, unyielding, yet breathable. The kind that doesn’t suffocate or demand, but simply is.

    Earlier this week, a client told me, “You’re strong.”

    I paused, and I gently told her, “I have strength.”

    Because there is a difference.

    Being “strong” can sometimes feel like a role we’re forced to play. A fixed identity. A weight. It can sound like survival dressed up as virtue—the kind that leaves no room for softness, for breaking, for being held. Strength, on the other hand, is alive. It moves. It breathes. It grows.

    My strength is not rigid—it replenishes.

    It extends grace when I need it most.

    It allows me to bend without losing myself.

    It lets me rest without guilt.

    Strength is what carried me through the seasons where I didn’t feel chosen, where I questioned my path, where I showed up anyway—uncertain, but willing. It is what taught me that endurance is not about hardening, but about remaining open… even when it would be easier to close.

    And now, I feel the fruit of that.

    Not in a performative way. Not in a way that needs validation. But in a quiet knowing: I am held. By God. By the work I’ve done. By the woman I’ve become.

    This newness doesn’t feel like pressure—it feels like permission.

    Permission to soften without losing my power.

    Permission to experience joy without waiting for something to go wrong.

    Permission to receive love without questioning if I’ve earned it.

    And as I sit with this newness, I’m beginning to understand what it is asking of me.

    It is calling me to be intentional in the spaces I once approached cautiously.

    When I return to dating, it will not be from a place of loneliness or curiosity—but from alignment. I am no longer entertaining potential without evidence. I am no longer drawn to what feels familiar but unsettled. I will date with intention—clear, grounded, and open—allowing connection to meet me where I already stand whole. There will be no rushing, no proving, no abandoning myself to be chosen. Only mutuality. Only peace.

    This newness is also stretching me professionally.

    There is more for me to learn, more for me to carry, more for me to offer. I can feel the pull toward another certification—another layer of knowledge, another refinement of my craft. Not for validation, not for appearance, but because I honor the responsibility of what I hold. The letters behind my name will grow, yes—but more importantly, so will my capacity to serve, to discern, to lead with both skill and spirit.

    And then there is this sacred space I am entering—empty nesting.

    It is tender. It is unfamiliar. It is quieter than what I’ve known for so long. And yet, I am not resisting it. I am leaning in. I am allowing myself to feel the fullness of what it means to release and to trust that what I have poured into will continue to live and breathe beyond me.

    At the same time, I find myself gently preparing—creating provision for what’s to come. Not from fear, but from wisdom. Not from lack, but from stewardship. I am honoring both the present moment and the future that is unfolding before me.

    This is what newness means for me:

    Not striving—but aligning.

    Not forcing—but allowing.

    Not bracing—but trusting.

    Do the necessary work.

    I am learning that growth doesn’t always feel like pressure. Sometimes it feels like peace. Sometimes it feels like clarity. Sometimes it feels like standing in the middle of your life and realizing… you are no longer trying to survive it.

    You are ready to live it.

    And maybe that’s where I am.

    Not at the end of anything.

    But at the beginning of something sacred.

    A life that feels both grounded and expansive.

    A heart that is no longer bracing—but open.

    A spirit that trusts what is unfolding, even without having all the answers.

    If this is what newness feels like…

    I am ready to receive it.

    Being brave,

    Michelle ✨🌿✨

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle

  • Grace, Pathways, and the Cost of Becoming

    New Beginnings

    The new year does not arrive quietly. It comes with memory, with residue, with the echo of prayers whispered in exhaustion and spoken aloud in faith. As I step into this year, I do so aware of divine forces that have been at work long before I had language for them. God’s love has not been performative or punitive—it has been steady, corrective, and deeply intimate.

    Some prayers were answered quickly. Others were answered slowly, through redirection, loss, or delay. And some were answered in ways that required me to grow into the answer rather than simply receive it. I now understand that unanswered prayers are often invitations to become wiser, more honest, and more discerning.

    The Pathways of 2025

    The pathways established in 2025 were not accidental. They were carved through difficult decisions, uncomfortable boundaries, and moments where choosing myself felt lonely but necessary. I learned that God’s guidance does not always feel gentle in the moment—but it is always precise.

    Every hard pivot created alignment. Every closed door reduced distraction. Every ending taught me discernment. What once felt like disruption revealed itself as divine order.

    The wisdom gained did not come from ease. It came from emotional pain—pain that now reads like a highlight reel of growth rather than a list of regrets. I can trace my maturity back to moments where I survived disappointment without losing my softness, where I chose integrity over convenience, and where I honored my values even when it cost me comfort.

    Emotional Pain as Wisdom

    The older I get, the more I understand emotional pain as a form of instruction. Pain exposes what matters. It clarifies what cannot be negotiated. It sharpens our ability to love ourselves with boundaries rather than abandonment.

    Grace, I’ve learned, is rarely delivered as “I told you so.” God does not shame us with hindsight. Grace is extended from love—quietly, patiently—without the language of “you should have” or “why didn’t you.” Instead, grace says: Now you know. And knowing changes everything.

    This understanding has softened my relationship with my past. I no longer interrogate myself for what I didn’t know then. I honor who I was with the tools I had. Growth does not require self-punishment—it requires acceptance.

    Acceptance Without Self-Erasure

    Acceptance does not mean betraying your desires. It does not require you to prove your love by shrinking your wants, lowering your standards, or redesigning your future to make others more comfortable. Acceptance is not compliance.

    I am learning to lean into acceptance without changing the landscape of my wants. Without negotiating my needs. Without confusing patience with settling.

    Because settling has consequences.

    And I have learned—sometimes painfully—that the cost of settling is always higher than the cost of waiting, choosing again, or walking away.

    Counting the Cost

    I will continue to ask myself one question in this season: What is the cost?

    What is the cost of staying where I am tolerated but not cherished?

    What is the cost of silencing my intuition for the sake of harmony?

    What is the cost of convenience over calling?

    This question has become a form of self-respect. It keeps me aligned with God’s wisdom rather than my fear. It reminds me that love—divine or human—should not require self-abandonment as proof.

    Moving Forward

    As this year unfolds, I trust the pathways already laid. I trust the wisdom earned. I trust that God’s love will continue to guide me—not through coercion, but through clarity.

    I enter this year grounded in faith, sharpened by experience, and unwilling to settle for anything that costs me my peace.

    Grace has met me here.

    And I am ready. 🌿

    A Closing Prayer

    God of wisdom and gentle correction,

    Thank You for loving me without humiliation and guiding me without force. Thank You for the prayers You answered, the ones You delayed, and the ones You answered by changing me. As I step forward, help me to trust the pathways You have already established, even when I cannot see the full picture.

    Grant me discernment to know the cost of settling and the courage to choose what aligns with Your truth for my life. Teach me to accept what has been without diminishing what I still desire. May my wants be refined, not erased. May my love be rooted, not desperate. May my decisions be guided by wisdom rather than fear.

    Cover me with grace as I continue becoming.

    Amen.

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5–6

    Soul-ing Quote:

    Emotional pain did not break me—it instructed me. What once hurt now highlights the wisdom I earned and the grace that carried me forward.

    ✨🌿✨

    Be brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • The Wonder of Unfolding:  On the sacred rhythm of  Time, Healing and Autumn’s quiet grace.

    The Wonder of Unfolding: On the sacred rhythm of Time, Healing and Autumn’s quiet grace.

    Sundays have a way of slowing me down enough to notice what time has been doing beneath the surface. The air is crisp, the light shifts, and even the trees seem to know when to release. I am in wonder of how time cloaked our struggles, yet time also reveals the required healing — the necessary strength for us to witness the why’s. In this turning season, I’m reminded that God’s work often happens quietly, layered in moments we don’t yet understand. What once felt delayed was, in truth, unfolding right on time.

    Yesterday, I attended my cousin’s wedding — my second cousin, though I still remember her as the little girl with big dreams and a contagious laugh. Watching her stand there, radiant in hope and grace, marrying again with such genuine love, felt like witnessing time come full circle. The ceremony was outdoors, framed by trees touched with autumn gold, the air soft with both memory and promise.

    At this age, I’m in awe of how love still finds us, how it gathers what’s been scattered by years, by loss, by change. Marriage has a way of reminding us that family expands even as it shifts — that though we’ve said goodbye to parents and grandparents, something sacred continues through us. It’s as if time weaves a quiet thread between what was and what is becoming, inviting us to see how love endures, how it unfolds anew.

    This morning, before I began to write, I recorded a few thoughts — just me, my voice, and the quiet of Sunday. Sunday mornings have become their own kind of prayer for me. Waking up smiling, breathing easier, releasing the heaviness of the work week and the constant pulse of motherhood, I find myself able to go to God in a way that comforts me. There’s peace in that surrender — in remembering I don’t have to hold everything together for the world to keep turning.

    I love my walks, especially now as the leaves start to fall and the air turns brisk. It’s where I feel time most gently — not rushing, not demanding, just moving with me. Each step reminds me that unfolding doesn’t require effort, only willingness. And maybe that’s what this season — this life — continues to teach me: that healing, love, and even time itself are part of a divine rhythm, one that never stops revealing what’s meant to be known in its own perfect moment.

    Rest in knowing that what’s meant for you is already moving toward you. Time, love, and grace are all working together in ways you can’t yet see.

    Be brave,

    Michelle

    ©️Intimately Worded, Michelle.

  • Finding Meaning in Stillness: You Were Made for More

    Finding Meaning in Stillness: You Were Made for More

    You Were Made for More, and You Know It

    Lately, I’ve been waking up at 4:15 a.m., not out of discipline but out of something deeper—an ache, a pull, a knowing. Maybe you’ve felt it too. That quiet nudge that whispers, You were made for more. Not in the loud, hustle culture kind of way, but in a way that sits in your chest, pressing down until you acknowledge it.

    March felt like a run-through, like a practice round where I was trying to catch up with myself. Days moved fast, responsibilities stacked up, and I was just going through the motions. And now, April has arrived, and I find myself waiting—waiting for the weight of something real, something undeniable. The heaviness of stepping fully into what I know I’m meant to be.

    But here’s the thing about more: it’s not always about doing more. Sometimes, it’s about softening. Peeling back the layers of overperformance, of proving, of moving so fast you don’t even feel your own life. Maybe more looks like stillness. Maybe it’s the kind of work that happens in the quiet moments before the world wakes up—before emails, before expectations.

    If you’ve been feeling it too, this in-between space, this waiting, know that it’s not empty. It’s not wasted. You are being prepared, strengthened, softened in ways you can’t even see yet. So, keep waking up. Keep listening. Keep allowing yourself to move toward the life that’s been calling you. Because you were made for more. And you already know it.

  • Hearing God—-Through Panic

    Hard week with work and with Life. I had to make some hard decisions, not difficult just hard. There is always something. Something to do; some place to be; somewhere we’re required to go. Oftentimes, our to do’s are monotonous, familiar—then they become something bigger, different, something new. #Challenges. As I reflect, I’m asking myself did I pause enough to hear from God? Follow my intuition? Did I rush to solve due to my soul’s discomfort?

    I have a lot on me as a single parent. I believe we all have struggles; I’m my human me with struggles. Financial hardship—any episode of lack or substantial amount throws me a huge crippling gut punch. I do not like it; I know this so I prepare; save and prepare. I am learning different aspects of my fears, concerns and love.

    I love structure. I love familiarity. I love better, I feel better when knowing the how and when of things exactly. I prefer being able to “see.” I know I am at a different stage of my life. Lately, growth seems like soul stretches and the pain burrows deeper than the latest experience. I know blessings. I know God for what He is in my life. I know the good, the bad and the ugly. Yet, none of it feels like it is happening the way I want or pray for—His will, grace and freewill just shows up for my better and intentional. I’m learning to take deep breaths better. I’m learning this heaviness is not mine alone.

    I know beauty as well. I know how the rhythms of life come together to heal us in those secret places. I know there is no emotional depth in which God cannot reach me, teach me. He loves me, my perfectly imperfect self. I believe Love works differently for each of us…allow it to work for you even in ways that seem foreign, real different and not necessarily the path you’ve envisioned. I’m learning not to suffer, unnecessarily. There’s no way for me to out love or out-know what is before me or what is manifesting its way towards me. I know my panic to be just as real as my faith. I’m willing to unlearn the old, the familiar. I’m no longer comfortable with avoidance. I have the capacity to study myself with love and gentleness.

    I pray your new week gives way to clarity of your next steps. I pray the pain that keeps you stumbling is removed. I pray you give healing the options your soul deserves. I see you. I love you!

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

    #MichelleMoments: Where are you in your faith? Are you doing well in practicing your faith, exercising the strength of your faith walk. I like to think I am practicing my faith with love. I was taught the stronger one’s faith the better we become in creating an intimate relationship with our Creator. Some of the answers we seek do not come easy, yet they come. Trust your pathway; it is personal.

  • Homework: Self Study💕

    In reflection this Sunday morning: My day off…I am still off my routine of things. It was struggle to enjoy my mani and massage pedi. I mindfully had to make myself sit and be taken care of— for they are doing great work.

    I’m noticing that I’m struggling within the easy parts of my life. My self maintenance is priority —yet even in that I’m resolved to what is the point. What is the point in all I’ve worked for and towards to be told that “there is something there.” I’m not professing hopelessness or helplessness. I’m still trying to figure out what I did wrong. I believe I’ve had to do something wrong that requires punishment. Right?Right.

    Thursday mornings are my spiritual companionship times w/ my Spiritual Advisor. We’ve been together over a year now and I would say she knows me better than most. She affirms me in who I am, how I am, how I love and how I want to be loving. She doesn’t push unless she recognizes that I am not present. She gets me, all of me. Although, this Thursday morning was a struggle too—to hear her, to want to be there. Through this tough time that I am struggling with…I am fussing and complaining about mistreatment towards me, towards others, how this world is cruel at it’s best and it’s worst; I fuss about friendships, about abuse; about it all. She quietly asks me to “overstand, to know that not everyone has your gift.”

    I chuckled silently and think, I’m struggling to inner-stand, understand where I am. I acknowledge that, no one is holding space for me. Deep sigh. I am committed to surviving with thriving–this in-betweenness is difficult. This week’s wins: I woke every morning with purpose. I reached out to patients outside of working hours due to their hurts along their journey. I took two vacation days without working and finishing notes. I am planning for workshops in 2022 with strategic hope. I daily connected with my children and spent time with my granddaughter. I talked to my sister and my biological Aunt Shirley. My Koda is without a doubt the most loving furbaby ever.

    What I am learning: we love easier when we allow our changes to come softly. When it feels the most is falling apart…maybe the transitions bring all we’ve wanted to fruition and all is coming together. It all looks different, fearful. We’ve never been in this position before. I never expected love throughout this type of season. Redefine Love for yourSelf. My father told me once: “Michelle you’re just running in the field of flowers.” Of course, there was an hour long lecture about relationships after that. I was a teen.☺️
    It’s 30 years later and I get it. I comprehend those wisdom highlights more so than ever. I miss him.

    I anticipated and wanted “Love” happy, without sadness, without work. There are consequences to our choices. Undoubtedly, there are benefits to our choices as well. Every rejection, disappointment, their “no” can possibly set us on an extraordinary different path. Stop attaching your future to leftovers, to what is left. You’re dodging bullets left and right, Woman! Rise up. Level up. Do you. Protect yourSelf with love—be loving– intuitively. This is…this betterment is actual; it is what is tangible, intangible. This journey, our blessings are necessary. Our lessons learned. Our experiences personal. Everything is happening for your good—-even the current pain of right now. Choose You again and again—intimately and faithfully.

    Words for thought: Scripture: Luke 22:31-32

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

  • Spiritual/Self-Independence: Unlearning

    Bone Deep: Self-Acceptance

    In my thoughts…I think this health struggle has thrown me back into the mentality of struggling, of always having to fight. I’m forgetting a lot of my structural things: forgetting to wear my mask consistently and wondering why everyone is staring at me; driving anxiously—having to concentrate on where I am going, budgeting/being really frugal because I’m frightened of not knowing yet anticipating the good of things. I hope that makes sense. I’m exhausted after errands, after a full day of work…when those things were easy for me. Socially, I’m inept, depleted.

    I had gotten into the self-care thought pattern of going to the gym; looked forward to it. Thursday was a true struggle. I went yet I did not see the point in going in that moment. I’m losing weight…my favorite pajama pants fell of me while I was walking. I worried first, then laughed I still haven’t thrown them away. They are laying across my bed. I remain, faithfully in #transition.

    No, I don’t have physical symptoms. There is no lump; only the knowledge that there is something there. My struggle is not only mental—the spiritual aspect of it has me reverting to, “Why now?” I stopped asking, “why me” as a teen. As I mature spiritually, I believe God’s love for His son personifies His love for us; He endured so much more.

    I trust God’s divine timing —He is at His best…even when I think He’s got me in the valley of things. I’m rereading past writings with wonder and questions that turn me towards my relationship with Him. I do not feel distant. I feel a little lost with the how; the what else and currently the resigned acceptance; okay.

    I wrote the paragraph below, April 29, 2019 5:42 am:

    “Do not out-position God thinking you can not do better….that your right now is greater than His way, than this path you’re currently on. Review where you initially felt an offset, an unsettling. God didn’t stop there; why have you? Our insecurities can show up in so many different ways. Trust where you are; embrace the position, the possibilities. His grace leads to so much more. Believe Better. His love is greater.”

    I do find joy in reflecting on my past writings, it gives way to self-wonderment and the depths of growth. I’m looking more within, giving pause. I hold space for Sundays, for my spiritual self and for my writing soul. What keeps you holding space, grounded in your peace?

    Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned; the flames will not consume you.”

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

  • Attention: What Sustains?

    I am currently on vacation. I purposely took a week off from work and planned a 5 day stay at the Beach. My two teens are with me and as teenish as they are, I am often left alone. The Ocean wore them out and I find myself drawn to check my phone and emails—wanting someone to want me, need me. I have never had a problem being alone. I prefer it…I prefer quiet. My levels of growth and healed segments of my life are increased and reveled in when I am alone. Yet, last night as all was quiet except the therapeutic roaring of the ocean, I was unable to write, unable to read. I surmised that it has only been 24 hours in which the phone did not have my attention. In all honesty, I worked yesterday, remotely. So, in not writing, nor reading I am focusing on the best way to help all patients… I am strategically casing while on vacation. Seriously.

            An Undeniable Bond
#myBrutus and #PrincessMonster
    An Undeniable Bond
    #myTeens

    Okay, let’s talk: Attention, what does it mean to you and why has it become a phenome to accept deeper connections through social media and not human contact? We text more than we call. We scroll more than we touch. We deviate more than we plan and grow. I sit here and I people watch…rarely does anyone make direct eye contact. One female is walking for exercise while on her phone. A model is having her pics taken by a photographer…I digress. My plan for vacationing was to write, to read and to relax. I was only able to do that for a full 24 hours before my attention was diverted to everything but my personal goals.

    I think with each phase of life our desire for attention levels out and begins differently. I ask not to be self-critical nor to minimize the affect how Life and why God has impacted my journey just so. I analyze, I overthink, I reflect…I ponder, as I become this great individual that I’ve pursued for the longest time.

    • What type of attention are you seeking?
    • What parts of you need that type of validation and why?
    • Why aren’t you able to write, Writer?
    • What are those fears that keep you searching?

    I think my own diversion to attention seeking is due to my having to work all the time for any and everything I’ve wanted. I’ve been placed in Life-Roles when I had no clue, no voice in how things should be, yet I continue to do right by those that are in my life. I know that the way my life is set up I am required to go, do and be. Rarely, am I given the opportunity to focus on myself…to breathe –to understand where I am. At times, restoration is scary, fearful and quite intimidating. I love how my phase is unfolding as I am writing this…. God does exactly what He wants for His love is greater for us than any plans we’ve wished and prayed for. He never stops listening. Cosmically, this is the calmest the Ocean has been since we arrived.

    “Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.” ~Doe Zantamata

    Therapeutic Reflections
    #NoObstacles

    I encourage you to re-evaluate your actions and analyze your why…soon the reveal or revelation you seek will hit you in the most deserving way possible…your needs not theirs. Keep with what sustains you…even if it seems to have blurred. I am a therapist’s therapist and an awesome mother. I believe the remainder will fall into place; its impossible to thrive in lack.

    Intimately Worded,

    Michelle

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