Potential-Hopeless- I can’t know…

Autumn & Me

“Single is a status not a right.” – Michelle

So I met this guy at the pool Friday, Father’s Day weekend. I am the only mother at the pool. Autumn sees a school friend she knows and they along w/ Brutus begin to play. I am sitting at the far end, alone, texting my sister Keyna about being the only mother at the pool. She tells me I can have my pick of the men. I tell her all of’em got issues.

Guy: “Ma’am, ma’am?”

I turn and he says, “Thank you. Thank you so much for bringing her. Great timing.”

Me: “You are welcome.” I text Keyna some more and I am thinking if he says something else I will walk over to him. Be more open. Make a friend.

A few minutes later….

Same guy: “Ma’am, ma’am,  Again it is great you came out here when you did. I get to have some me time while they play.”

I size him up, he has his phone, tablet, portfolio and all this stuff surrounding him. I figure he is married. I will be in a safe zone. I can be me without pressure. So I walk over, extend my hand and introduce myself.

His name is Mike.

Me: “The ants are taking over down there and we were only going to be here for an hour. I didn’t bring anything.”

Mike: “I just happened to bring Off today. You can use it on your feet.”

Me: “You don’t mind?” I spray my feet and arms. (I notice he gives me a look.)

Mike: “No, not at all. I appreciate you coming when you did. It seems they know each other well. From school?”

I sat down in the lounge chair beside him.

Me: “Apparently. I don’t remember your daughter or seeing you at the elementary school.”

Mike: “No, they are at different middle schools this year. The principal is great at my daughter’s school.”

Me: “That is great. So they know your face at the school?”

Mike: “Oh yeah, most definitely.”

We talk more about school, our kids, life insurance (who does that?), family vacations and him.

Background: He is 48 years old, employed for 25 years, separated for a year, has a girlfriend. Definitely getting a divorce.

He leaves to refill his drink and get his daughter a drink & snack. He comes back w/ Cheez-its. Offered them to me. I say no. He says: “You know you want some Cheez-its.”

Me: “I am thirsty. You didn’t bring me nothing to drink but offer these dry a$$ crackers. You selfish” He laughs out loud.

We talk more. He leaves to go get me a drink, and he touches my knee. Mike: “For the record you know you walked over here. You flirtin? Imma smoke my cigar. You mind?”

Me, laughing, “Not flirtin. You got issues–legally separated and already have a girlfriend. No, I don’t mind the cigar.”

Mike, laughing: “You might wanna slow down.”

He leaves and comes back w/ a drink for me. We talk more. He turns on some music. At the pool, under the stars and the laughter of children. So I am thinking how long it has been since I have been around a Man…he smells good, got all his teeth, kind, sweet, funny….the sky lights up w/ lightening but no rain and the breeze is just wonderful. Great vibe but he has extenuating circumstances. I tell myself to chill.

We are out there until 10:15 pm. Shake hands and exchange numbers. Our girls do the same. As soon as I get home I get a text: “You want me?” I didn’t respond. I laugh. He resend the text. Me: “Yes, but you are not in a position to be wanted. You are not available” We text for 3 more hours..

Now I try to avoid anything that will disturb my spirit when I have to teach Sunday School. (Not the perfect Christian but teaching is a great responsibility.  Leading God’s folks astray will not be on my resume. Jesus will not be “eyeballing” me.)

I go to sleep and stop texting. Saturday I study my lesson as well and other school work. I avoid my phone. At 1:21 am he calls, hangs up. He texts: ”Do you give ####?” My response: “Does your girlfriend? Your wife?” He responds:“Please forgive me.” “Do you forgive me?” “I shouldn’t have asked.” The “forgive me?” texts go on for hours.

I ignore the texts and go to sleep. I don’t fall into any kind of emotion; men are strange. Someway, somehow strange seems to find me. I refuse to let his actions disturb my thoughts.

So I will continue to be Nun-like….nun of yall getting any, nun of yall got any sense, nun yall can’t be alone? Nun yall realize what’s in front of you and nun yall just nun yall. 🙂

The saga encounters of the hopeless, the White Men, the Elderly and the Toothless continues.  Really God, all I did was divorce, happily divorce….lol!

Remaining hopeful. You do the same. ~M.

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